Work and rest

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I wasn't in charge of anything. Do you ever wonder that?

There are times when I feel like I'm not giving 100% to my mothering, and then times when I feel like I'm not giving 100% to my work. I wish I could feel that I give 100% to both all the time. It's like there are two sides of me and I have to choose which side to use during the day.

I've never been the type to wish I had a full-time career separate from my husband, nor have I ever wished I didn't have to stay home with my toddler. I love being a housewife, and I desire more time to pour into that to be honest.

I really need to sit down and re-think my life, which I feel like I'm always doing anyways. So many times I say "yes" to something because I can't foresee anyone else taking up the job. The few times I do get the guts to say "no" to something I end up not pleasing someone. I've read the book Boundaries and it really changed my life in college... at least now I know how to say no. It's just that I'm not good at saying it regularly when need-be.

I think my position is an exception to the rule in many cases because our job description includes both of us, not just Danny. I feel guilty for saying no if it's something that someone like me "should do". It's not like back 4 years ago when Danny was a mechanic putting in his 9-5 and then the evenings and weekends were ours. Our whole lives revolve around our position. You have to squeeze in "off time" when you can.

I need a lot of wisdom from Father, courage and faith from myself, and grace from others to help me embrace the healthy rhythms of life I so desperately need.

If you have any advice on how you've embraced boundaries, saying no, and creating healthy rhythms of work and rest, please share a comment with us all :)

Ramblings

I've been off the grid for a while due to busy-ness, sleep depravity, and more sickness. Blech.

I feel so useless when I'm sick. There's a "tired virus" as we've so affectionately named it, going around. It is exactly as it sounds. You don't quite understand why you feel sick because you don't necessarily throw up or have any other crazy symptoms... except nausea and body aches. You just want to sleep and sleep and sleep some more. Danny had it first, and he was so kind as to extend it towards me as a precious gift.

I miss my family a lot- especially lately. This time of year we'd be going to pumpkin patches and hay-rack-rides, and Sitora would be old enough to jump into leaves and giggle while we throw them in the air. I don't pretend to be a superwoman with no feelings or hard times. Being away from family is not easy. I guess you could say I choose to embrace the pain instead of ignore it. I recognize that I'm grieving not being with my family, and I let myself feel the sadness. Then I give it to Father and ask Him to give me the strength to carry on despite the weight in my heart.



My brother is a news anchor. I am so proud of him. I wish I could live in the same town as him and walk around with him while people whisper and point saying, "There he is! It's the channel 5 guy!" I'm sure he'll be famous in about 1.5 weeks! Wanna watch? Click here.

I am playing bass for a concert this weekend- now please tell me how in the world did I get myself into that?? I am giving bass lessons to a girl in our youth group, but that doesn't mean I'm a seasoned player by any means! Let's just say Mr. bass and I will be having many dates this week as we get reacquainted. Oh dear.

On a final note, I love watching chick-flicks because they make me all emotional and teary and I run into the other room, throw my arms around my husband, kiss him a million times, and can't stop telling him how much I love him! Watching girly-love movies reminds me of my single days when I was waiting patiently for Father to bring me my Prince Charming and how extremely love-struck I was when he finally swept me off my feet. I think of all the adventures we've been on and how proud of him I am, and I get that twinkle in my eye and feel lovestruck all over again. I love my superDan!

That's all for now, I guess. I think I need to sit back down and try to ease the tummy yuckies. Thanks a lot "tired virus", you really stink!

Blind Bartemaeus

Had an amazing time at our ladies small group today.

Deep stuff. Deep deep stuff. I like deep. No shallow for me, thank you.

I guess basically what sticks out to me the most from today is the story of Blind Bartemaeus. (Don't know the story? Check out Mark 10:46-52)

Application. How far are we willing to go in order to connect with Father and let Him meet our needs? Are we willing to embarrass ourselves? Or friends? Our family? The people around Bartemaeus were certainly embarrassed of him. They wanted him to be quiet and knock it off.

I'm not talking about us purposefully trying to hurt the ones we love, or purposely trying to embarrass them, or purposefully rebelling. I'm talking about when we do what we know Father is calling us to do no matter what others think we should do.

Many people aren't happy with the fact we've moved far away from home. Many people may be embarrassed of us, that we aren't making 6 figures and storing up treasures for ourselves on earth, that we aren't building a comfortable life for ourselves, that we aren't doing what's normal. ("Once they're done with this little "fling" they'll come back home and start really living life.") Believe me, it's hard giving up all your possessions and moving across the ocean... let alone explaining it to people!

Maybe you feel called to have a big family, to homeschool your children, or to quit your job and employ yourself as a housewife and stay-at-home mom, and people shake their heads in disapproval. Or perhaps you would rather live a simple life working less, owning less, giving more away to those in need, and spending more time with the ones you love, and others criticize your lack of work-a-holic-ness. Or possibly you have a passion or gifting, and it isn't warmly received. Or maybe you value morality and integrity, and others mock your prudence in the name of "getting with the times".

I know its not easy to understand the life we live. Most days I myself don't understand it. But what I do understand, is that I am passionate about knowing my Father and obeying His voice. I know our lives may not make sense to many people. Bartemaeus probably didn't make sense to those around him. But guess what happens at the end of the story? Check it out. Be inspired.

How desperate are you for HIM?

My birthday, picture version!

Today is my birthday!. Thank you for bringing me into this world 26 years ago Mom! Thank you family and friends for making this day so special. Thank you to my amazing hubby superDan who creatively crafted the whole day. Thank you to our good friends for babysitting Sitora. Thank you Father for creating me, and then saving me. Here is my day in pictures, I think you'll get the jist :) I love my life!

Pictures of the week. No words needed.

Sprinkles

I thought to myself this week, "Self, you sure like to write on your blog a lot." 
Myself replied, "Well, that's because I have much on my mind."
I asked myself, "Why?"
"I'm a girl, that's why.

I'd like to think of my blog as your daily dose of chuckles, pondering, and sprinkles on top. A sparkle of humor and wit. A comfy place where you can retreat for a warm fuzzy or two. Or three...

Interested in a seriously inspiring, girly-girl kinda video? I can't get this singer out of my head. Love the wings. Love the words. Love it all really.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AWRHBHDVlQ

My offering

 

I don't pretend to be a professional photographer. I don't think I know it all. And I definitely feel inadequate.

I am just trying to be a willing vessel with what has been graciously bestowed upon me. 

I have a love for people. I am obsessed (in a good way) with photography. I was recently given the most incredible gift in a long time- the camera I was dreaming of. 

I have no professional training. I do have 7 years personal practical experience. I do not have a professional standard camera. I do have the best camera I've ever owned in my life. 

I am doing the best with what I have been given. I want to use my camera to bless others.  The people we rub shoulders with over here don't have "that kind of money".  

Everyone deserves to have their life's most precious moments captured. 

If we don't give out of our poverty, then will we truly give out of our wealth?

The poor widow gave everything she had, albeit it was teeny tiny compared to the riches of her boastful neighbors. I want to practice giving, no matter what it is I have to give. 

It we're in the habit of giving, then we'll always want to give, rich or poor. 

So, even though my photographs may seem meager and fall short of perfect, it is my offering. 

And that is simply that.

Electrical tampering

Our power went out yesterday. That rarely happens in our apartment. We (meaning my best Azeri friend and I) couldn't figure out what was wrong. SuperDan finally came home from his camping extravaganza and I knew he would save the day. He, and our handy dandy neighbor poked, prodded, and solved the riddle. They had to connect some wires back together in the electrical box outside our door in the apartment hallway. It was sadly obvious that someone had tampered with it on purpose. Thankfully we have power now, but seriously, WHO would do that? I know this sounds baby-ish, but it really hurt my feelings! I don't understand. What did we do to cause someone to create such a problem? All I can do is just pray Father would work on their hearts and draw them to him. I am thankful for a husband and neighbor who fixed it. I am thankful for a few hours where Sitora and I had to come up with fun activities to do without power. (aka: give her a bath by candle-light...she loved it by the way).

Sometimes things happen in life and we don't understand why. I guess that's where the trust comes in. We trust Father even when we don't get it. I'm happy to rest in that, there's no way I could figure out this world anyways, so I'll just leave that to Him :)

Why blog?

I think "sick days" are a blessing from Father in disguise. You get to do all the things you actually have been wanting to do but all the chores of life get in the way instead.

You read a book.

You gaze out the window a tad bit longer than normal. "Hey, I never noticed that!"

You think about things. Contemplate. Regather your thoughts.

You snuggle with your hubby or child just a wee bit more (as if you couldn't get enough of that anyways!)

What have I been doing mostly during my "out-of-commission-hardly-do-anything-state"?

1. Reading lots of books to Sitora
2. Watching Sitora play, then joining in (I broke down at the grocery store and bought her a cute little tea set with cups and fake food and cooking supplies... a little mommy in the making!)
3. Reading the bible app on my iphone

Since I don't have my usual umph and energy (especially that my superman is gone for a few days) I have been more, laid back you could say :) Instead of making Sitora fall asleep in her crib, I lay by her in her big-girl bed until she drifts off into dream land. Which is actually a brilliant trade-off as Sitora plays with my hair as she falls asleep! Sometimes it can take a while, and I realized that it would be a great time for me to read the bible. Except I had no light to read it with. So, whaddaya know, my new technologically advanced step in life (aka: iphone) has a free bible app to download! Eureka! So I've been reading Ecclesiastes while snuggling with my little monkey. Pure bliss.

On another note, it's been extremely difficult to fall asleep without my man around. I lay in my bed for hours counting sheep and whatnot. So late one night after fighting my insomnia, I decided to give my blog a face lift. It was way more fun that it should have been, I do confess. Therefore, I actually have quite a bit of knowledge now about blog design. So... I came up with this fantastical idea! I've decided that if any of you splendid readers have a blog or are interested in starting one and need some creative input, I would LOVE to help you (aka: I can design it for you or give helpful hints)! I am only asking one thing in return... that you order one of my personalized stationary sets from my website here :) In all actuality, you are really getting two things for the price of one in this situation! If you are interested, email me at javamammacasey@gmail.com.

"Why should I blog?" you ask. Great question. Because you matter. Your heart is beautiful, and you have a story to tell. You have something to offer this world. Your beauty, your love, your passion. It's especially wonderful if you live far away from loved ones and need a way to stay connected. I love to read blogs of other momma's who put lots of time and energy into making their house a "home" and loving on their family. I get recipe ideas, game ideas, and creative project ideas! Plus, it's just plain fun (and did I mention free??)! Every time I blog I get butterflies in my stomach and the creative juices just start flowing- sharing my heart with the world gives me much joy. My favorite quote goes like this...

Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that, because what this world needs is people who have come alive."

Thanks for listening, and hopefully, happy blogging :)

Photos of the week... not belonging to me

My blog got a face lift. Yup. 'Bout time!

Leave a comment and tell me what you like about it :) I feel like it's much more "me"... like you've just stepped into my heart. Mmmmm makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, like a gentle breeze of purple lilac scent just blew through my open window.

Now for the actual content of this post.

I am overwhelmed with the creative artistic abilities of my photography students. Seriously. They are only in junior and senior high. This was the very first assignment of the year, and I was expecting low quality photos. I figured by the end of the year I would have trained them well and they would inevitably produce amazing photographs. But no, the talent exists now! I can't wait to teach them more because if the photos are already this good, they will just keep getting better!

So I'm gonna brag on 'em like a proud parent and show off their artwork :)















And this one... it just makes me laugh! Adorable and hilarious. Yes. That is a stuffed animal inside a roll of toilet paper. Just a little friend to help in times of trouble I guess...



Who knows. Maybe my students will be famous someday! I better get their autographs while I can...

Death by ear

Sharp, intense, throbbing pain. In my ear. Please make it stop. Oh and that mystery fluid draining out during the midnight hours? Ya that's pretty creepy.

"What? Say that again?" ... may be the answer I toss back at you if you happen to say, well, anything at all.

The infection spread so far down my face that I can hardly open my jaw to eat or talk. I seriously considered puré-ing my rice and chicken lunch after Sunday service. I was starving and couldn't get the food in my mouth nor chew fast enough to satisfy my rumbling tummy. I was in charge of the nursery today, so we ran off in a haste this morning without me getting a bite to eat. Bad idea. Baaaad idea for this momma.

My superhero husband picked me up an antibiotic and some groceries to heal my poor little body, then snuggled with me and watched a chick flick. If you know my hubby, you know he really doesn't like those kinds of movies, so he's doing it only for me. I was simply content. For some reason, when I am pitifully sick (you know, the pout-y lip, whimpering kind of sick), the only thing that aids my ill state is being wrapped up on the couch with my husband. I feel like a child again when my mother would wrap her sympathetic arms around me whenever my stomach hurt or my fever spiked. Sometimes us mommas need a little coddling. We give and give and give, and then when our time comes to lay half-dead, knocked-out by some dreadful illness, it feels good to be taken care of.

But this comes at a very bad time for yours truly. My husband is leaving on a camping trip tomorrow morning for 4 days. I am still horribly sick with the ear infection from, you know where, and I have a toddler to take care of, a birthday party to plan and execute (for a wonderful lovely friend at that), and a photography class to plan! Oh man this antibiotic better kick in soon. I need all the prayer I can get!

"What was that?" Oh don't mind me. I'm only deaf!

Contestants!

Alright everyone, it's time to show off all my awesome friends!

Here are all the entries for my contest. If you don't know about the contest, basically the way to enter was to brag about your spouse, or try one of my hair-do ideas :) Julia won the prize of personalized stationary from my website here!

I wish I could have sent personalized stationary to EACH AND EVERY one of you. You are all amazing, outstanding, brilliantly beautiful women. I've learned something from each and every one of you. Here's to my contestants! Read on, and be inspired :)

JavaMamma Blog Contest Entries

Jessica

My husband has been a part of my life and has held a huge portion of my heart since 4th grade. He's romantic, gentle, soft-spoken, faithful, honest and immeasurably generous. While I could write an entire "Santa's scroll" of the amazing things Jesse does and of who he is, I'll point out a few that stand out most in my mind:

*Hands down, and incredible father...dedicated to ensuring their safety, health and happiness. He's there day and night to ensure their needs are met emotionally, spiritually and physically. He provides for them in ways I never imagined possible.

*He's an amazing cook and creates healthy meals for me when I'm pregnant, tired, and just needing some soul food. He cares about what goes into my body and how I feel from the inside out. Never once have I gone a day without him telling me I'm beautiful in some way.

*When I felt moved to donate a small amount to the Fond du Lac School, he side-swiped me by following Father's call to donate our family car instead. He truly gives more than I can ever fathom, and his faith that Father will see us through is unrelenting.

*During multiple brain surgeries for my aneurysm, my beloved took full responsibility of the kids, the house and our daily living without a single complaint. And when I could no longer train for and complete my desired life-long goal of running a marathon in Green Bay, he took the reigns and ran it for me (did I mention he was well over 200 pounds at the time)? He gives of himself completely.

*I have never once had to get up in the middle of the night alone to feed or comfort our babies. And when I have discomfort with my pregnancies, he's right there with a hand rubbing my back until I fall back asleep. We are truly in these times together.

*He drops me love notes in the middle of the day, just to let me know he's thinking of me. :)

*He makes me laugh until I can no longer breathe.

*While Jesse claims to never be able to surprise me, he pulled out the best surprise of my life just weeks ago. With the consent of P. Balken, Jesse had planned on being baptized right along side of me. I could hardly walk, let alone speak of my testimony after watching such a beautiful gift go before me. He knows what is important in life and he's bound for us to do it together.

The list is endless, and I could literally go on for days. But the best part about our relationship is that it is truly a gift from Father knowing that the man of my dreams is here to stay....to lift me up when I'm fallen, and to remind me what life is all about. He's humble and challenges me to be the same. He's creative and never allows our marriage to become dull.

The hard work that we both pour into each other is a reflection of how awesome a love and life along side our Father can be. Sure, it's not always easy, but it sure is worth it.

Kelleigh

I too think it is so much more productive when we as ladies "boast" about our husbands. It shows them respect and admiration rather than disrespect and contempt. Thank you for encouraging wives and husbands alike to take a moment to jot down a few positive things that makes their spouse special! contest or no, I think it is a great opportunity for people to share...

During our pre-marital counseling we were instructed to write down all the reasons we wanted to marry the other. No limit, just write until you couldn't think of any more. I think I filled up 3 pages before I stopped! I know many things have been added to that list as I have gotten to know Brian better through the years and learned to love him more deeply. One of the best things about Brian is his love for people. He cares about people and sacrifices his own time and resources to help them out whenever he can. He also has such a teachable spirit which I have seen amplified this past year. He is so great with kids and even though we don't have any children I know when the time comes he will make a wonderful father and I really look forward to seeing him in that role. He works very hard to provide for us and give to others. He makes it easy to trust him and follow him as I know he is always looking to our Father for guidance/direction in every decision he makes! Brian's actions have always shown me love and I am so thankful for all the many ways he shows it. I couldn't ask for a better man to spend the rest of my life with!

Becca V.

Casey, I'm so happy for you that you have found someone who so clearly Father made for you and Father made you for him. :)

My husband, Steve, is pretty amazing as well. He is a complete hands-on daddy and is such a help with the kiddos. They love him to pieces as well. He is always making sure that I am ok and not stressed out and is constantly striving to make our family more God-centered and keeping Father as the foundation of our family. He is an amazing leader, husband, lover, friend, father and brother in Father.

And I totally wanted to post on this blog before I even saw your lovely giveaway! :) Love you, girl!

Chastidy

This is a picture of Hannah on her first day of 8th grade. She looked super cute and a little classy. It was easy to do. The best part was that my "little" girl wanted my help fixing her hair again. That was the part I liked the most :)

Meladie

My husband?

He's amazing. The most genuinely caring man I know (what, it's true!), AND, he puts up with my weird, quirky, and sometimes awkward personality. :)

He kisses me to sleep every night, and before he leaves, even if it's for five minutes.

He supports me. For example, he ditched out on his game night when my car was dying so we could sort out that issue.

When we first started dating he told me he wasn't romantic. But every now and then, he'll sweep me off my feet with flowers, and secret surprise date nights (like last night!).

He's the most attractive Starbucks barista/shift leader out there. Well, in my opinion he's the most attractive man period. He cares about his job and excels beyond his requirements as a shift leader.

He always jumps in when anyone needs him. He cares about people.

I LOVE my man. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Father couldn't have blessed me with a more perfect (for me) man.

Leslie

So...I am not normally one to try to do things to my hair besides put it in a pony tail or just let it hang down. It's abnormally straight and smooth and usually very difficult to do anything with. However, I thought, what the heck I can give this a try and the worst thing that can happen is that I'll get a neck cramp...well I got the neck cramp but I ALSO was able to form my hair into this hairstyle!!! I am just so excited about the very fact that I was able to do something different and cute with it besides the norm! And I this also caused me to try french braiding for the first time and I think it worked out pretty well! So, I very much enjoyed this challenge that you put out there and I am so glad I took it up and was able to succeed at it!
-Now if only I can get the stationary too... :D

Becca H.

I love this! It IS so powerful to speak it out!

Jason is an AMAZING man! As a husband, he is wonderful. He helps me out around the house, loves to spend time with me, is a great story-teller, works hard to provide for us, understands me, I fall more in love with him every day! And as a father, wow! Jason was so ready and excited to become a dad - he has been right in there from the start. He changes diapers without being asked, plays with them every day, puts them to bed EVERY night, reads the bible to them/us, listens to them. And he is ready to have more kids! I love it!

Jason's love to study the Word has drawn me into a deeper love of the Word, and his desire to things to be done right, and in truth and encouraged me also. We have fun together, still end up talking until 3am sometimes, can't wait to get the kids to bed so we can hang out together! He is the love of my life and I am forever changed and a better woman because of him!

Heidi

This is the first of your blog that I've seen and I love it! What a great way to brag on your guy! I just have to say that I agree with you that you got a pretty good one, but I am partial to my hubby and am privileged to have been chosen to be Nate's partner in life. He is such and encourager and support and I love how he passionately leads our family. I pray that you guys will always be blessed by each other as well. As you have so eloquently lifted up Danny, may he in turn praise you saying, "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Keep up your blogs, I like the coffee time :-)

***
I'd like to give a huge "THANKS" to Sarah U. who commented on my last post informing me how to copy and paste all these entries in a different way so I didn't have to retype them myself. Way to help a girl out! :)

Technical difficulties

So, due to some minor technical difficulties, I have been unable to post all the entries from my contest. Who knew you can't cut and past information from another source onto blog posts? Apparently you have to type in the words straight into blogger. So... I am going to have to wait for another rainy day when Sitora is sleeping, then I will type word for word all the entries. I really really want to post every word that was said, because so there is so much beauty and inspiration in the words my friends wrote. Believe me, it will be worth the wait! So... until then.

I don't have anything real specific to write about today, but I have been feeling some general overall thoughts. Pondering. Considering.

1. There are moms who light up when talking about their children. Despite difficulties and challenges, they find the good in all situations and hope for the best. Then, there are others who always seem exasperated with/at their children. I hope and pray I can always be the one who lights up.

2. There are people who complain about everything, and yet offer no solution to the problem- only pointing fingers and blame at the ones who should be fixing everything. And then there are those who see needs, gaps you could call them, and not only do they strive to find a solution, but they still see the positive in the situation, or give others the benefit of the doubt instead of pointing fingers.

3. No words can express the feelings I have when I see my 19 month old daughter folding her hands and closing her eyes during family prayer time. I have never told her she has to do that. She merely sees us and does it willingly. I pray this leads Sitora into a lifelong journey of passion and communion with her Heavenly Father.

4. I love rain. It rained this weekend for the first time in, well it seems forever. I grew up in the Midwest where thunderstorms and tornado warnings abound. I now live in the desert. Need I say more? I miss hearing thunder and seeing lightning outside, curling up with a warm blanket on the couch reading a good book while drinking warm tea, watching the rain pitter-patter on the windowpane. So when it rained today, that's exactly what I did! It felt marvelous.

Oh by the way, if you think of it, keep me in your prayers as my left ear has really been bothering me this week. I can't hear out of it and it hurts pretty badly :(

That's about it for now. Time to go snuggle with my hubby and talk about our day!

And the winner is...

I just wanted to thank everyone who contributed to my blog contest! It was too much fun reading your comments and stories. I loved hearing about your love and respect for your awesome hubbies, and I smiled with "hair-dresser" pride as you sent you your hair-do photos! It was such a creative way for me to re-connect with many of you. It was a blast!

Now for the moment you've all been waiting for!



Wait for it...



Drum roll please...



And the winner is...



JULIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is Julia's entry:

"I have done this hairstyle 3 times in the last 4 days and LOVE it! It's so simple to do (takes like 5 mins) but the result is an elegant 'do that gets a ton of compliments, and it keeps my hair up and out of my face all day, wonderful! Thanks for sharing, keep on giving hair tips, I love them! Love ya!"

I met Julia when I was at college and loved her the minute we first met! She was always optimistic, upbeat, encouraging, and just plain fun! Julia always made me feel special and welcomed, and she was an example to me in her transparency and love for Father. She inspired me in the areas of administration and helps, challenging me to pursue these areas as I realized I wanted to have as much of an impact in the workplace as she did! Thanks for entering Julia! Now start creating your personalized stationary by viewing my website here, email me at javamammacasey@gmail.com, tell me which photo you want from my stationary section, and send me your personal message for the inside and back of the cards!

Tomorrow I will post all the entries from the contest so you can soak in the joy for life all these women shared with me :)

Until next time, stay tuned with Java Mamma and keep your eyes open for another contest down the road!

A vagabond's questions

So get ready for another deep post. I can't help myself really.

I am reminded of yet another quote by one of my favorite teachers from college, Nita Steiner.

"Father is more concerned with the location of your heart rather than your geographical location."

Let us dig in a little deeper, shall we?

Many times we get caught up in the "big" will of Father, wondering where our place in His plan fits... wondering what the big program, the big vision, the big cahoona is. I think it's much more than that to be honest. And yet, maybe much simpler.

Maybe I should start with my personal testimony on the matter. At age 11 I was clearly called to overseas work, and gladly accepted it. I went on every overseas trip I could in junior high and high school, attended the best college I could, and married my dream husband to journey with me in our calling. I had it all planned out. I did not want to live in America much longer after marriage, and was waiting patiently-no, scratch that- impatiently for our overseas assignment to become evident.

And then it happened. We were offered a position in America. We smiled charitably at the thought - haha, no thanks. But we did what a good person should do and prayed about it, convinced the answer would be no.

Boy were we wrong.

The answer was YES, clear as day. Dumbfounded and shocked, we packed up or life, moved, and, well, settled down! The exact opposite of what we ever planned on doing. Through it all I was confused as all-get-out, wondering why in the world the Father who so clearly called me to live overseas was so now clearly calling me to STAY.

Over the course of those next three years, Father did some deep, painful, tender work on our hearts, bursting out of the box we had so carefully put Him in. During this time I was reminded of something I read in college... "If you are not willing to go {overseas} then you are not equipped to stay. And if you are not willing to stay, then you are not equipped to go."

There you have it friends. I was definitely not willing to stay, so therefore I was not equipped to go. I wanted to go so badly that I actually lost sight of the One I wanted to go for. Funny how our focus gets shifted off Father and lands on our goals instead. Its a slow, obscure journey that sneaks up upon us like a thief in the night.

After almost 3 years of "settling" in our home country, I slowly developed a different heart. My heart became tender for my own country, the needs before me down the street and to the left. I suddenly saw my world through different eyes, and the song by Brandon Heath "Give me your eyes" became my life song. I had fallen in love with my country, and burned with passion for it's souls. I was finally happy. And comfortable...

And then He called us.
Overseas.

*sigh*

Change, yet once again. This had been my dream all along, yet why did my heart ache with the same disappointment as before, when I was dreading staying?

And yet, with the same clarity and peace, we knew without a shadow of a doubt we were to leave. My heart broke as we said goodbye to family and friends, and took our 8 month old daughter with us. I couldn't understand why Father kept calling us to places at the times when we finally felt comfortable.

And here I sit, typing from a computer oceans away from my home, yearning for loved ones, yet bursting with excitement over the opportunities Father sets before us daily in our new home.

And it is here, yet again, that I reminded that Father is so after my heart. He is jealous for me. He is jealous for my devotion and attention. How can He keep my attention when I am distracted and comfortable? I don't have all the answers. I don't know why my parents have to pay the price for our calling by not seeing their only granddaughter. I don't know why I can't spend these next precious few years with my grandfather. All I do know, is that I willingly gave myself to Father, and when He called, I answered.

I read a book once which basically said that many people don't completely give themselves to Father, their ears are closed to His calling. Therefore, they don't go. (And when I say "go", it is referring to anywhere, any state, any city, not just overseas) But when the passionate, burning heart says "yes" to Father, He takes their vow seriously. Very seriously.

Think about the amazing pillars of faith in the bible. They were wanderers, vagabonds, broken people who followed Father wherever He called. How could Joseph have saved his father and brothers if he had not been sold into slavery and later ended up in Egypt? I bet he cried out to Father wondering why he couldn't share life with his precious father whom he loved so dearly. I bet Jacob cried out to Father wondering why He'd taken his most precious son away from him. And then, years later, Father reunites them and uses Joseph to literally save their lives from a famine.

So I can't help but wonder, maybe the future holds the opportunity for me to share life with my family. Maybe it doesn't. But the choice I make today, the willing heart to follow Father wherever He calls me, is very, very crucial.

Sometimes there are things, kinks you could say, that need to be worked out in our lives... and they just aren't getting worked out where we currently are. Who knows? Maybe in the place He's calling you, He's going to do an incredible work on your marriage. Or maybe He has something awesome planned for your child there. Or maybe He wants you to meet your future best friend. Or maybe you will learn the biggest lesson of your life there. You.just.never.know.

I am praying over this post as I type, asking Father to work on hearts all around the globe. I challenge you, if you haven't already, set aside time, talk to Father, and then listen. Let Him call you. Let Him lead you. It may be down the street, it may be a day's drive west, and it may be a plane ride over the ocean, but whatever it may be, it is crucial.

Hairstyle of the week

This hairstyle is ideal for a special occasion of any kind. Its quick, easy, and doesn't involve a curling iron.

All you need is 1-2 fake clip-in flowers (you can make them or buy them from mostly anywhere, Target, Walmart, etc...), bobby pins, and hairspray.

Step 1: Pull a small section of hair over your forehead back (you are creating a "poof"). Gently twist and push forward a tad, then secure with 3-5 bobby pins. Use colored bobby-pins according to your hair color (I use blonde colored ones).



Step 2: Pull your hair to the side and make a pony tail just behind your ear. Instead of securing with a hair-tie, wrap the hair in circles around your fingers, then start securing with bobby-pins randomly to get the "messy look" while pulling your fingers out.



Step 3: Secure any loose ends falling out with bobby-pins. This look is "elegantly messy" so it doesn't have to look exactly perfect. In my mind, the more artistic and messy the better!



Step 4: Clip in 1-2 flower pins above the ear opposite the messy bun. Don't be afraid to use bold colors! (Hint: wearing colors that match your hair, skin tone, or eyes are always safe!)



Step 5: Pull out a small strand in the front to frame the face. It can be one or both sides of your face, your choice! I went with just one side.

If you try this hairstyle, email me a pic at javamammacasey@gmail.com and I'll post it on my blog!

Have fun and look great too ;)

New life

The anticipation of new babies and the precious moments they bring.

Soak in the love and laughter of this family, and you can't help but be touched. This is why I love photography. Being a photographer is so much more than a job or hobby. For the day, you are adopted into your client's family. You find out what makes the children giggle (or what doesn't!), and you find out how deeply in love the parents are. The camera catches the moment in time, and your heart remembers it forever.


Here's to NEW LIFE. May this wee little one grow up knowing and embracing Father's love, and may they sprinkle this world with passion and service to our Father bringing many to Him.