Fall

I love Fall. For many reasons. Mostly because my birthday almost always falls on the first day of Autumn. Also because I love the leaves... the beautiful colors they turn... they way my heart feels with I'm surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of them on the ground, lying on my back and looking up at the wind blown trees. I love the crisp Autumn air and the scarves around my neck. I love the pumpkin spice latté's, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin anything really, and of course, apple cider. I love the excitement Fall brings. It brings me closer to Father.

What do you like best about Fall? 

Post a comment on this blog entry answering why you love Fall and you are automatically entered in my Thanksgiving Contest (click on those words to read more). I will select one person who will win a free set of personalized stationary from my website! (Which, by the way, will be shipped directly to your door!) Hurry, there are only 2 days left to enter!

In the meantime, here are some fall-ish pictures to inspire your creative minds. My princess is such a fall beauty. I couldn't resist putting this adorable sweater on her that's been hiding away in storage until this very moment in time. We traveled to the countryside and were swept away with the Autumn colors and beauty. It's not everyday we get to see this kind of scenery in the busy city. I soaked in every minute of it.

                                                  

Now it's your turn, tell us why you love Fall :)

The least of these

I am not about to post this story to boost my self-esteem, nor am I sharing this to make me feel better about myself. I am only desiring to spread awareness of the needs of the poor, orphans, and widows. We too often live in our own warm, safe, bubble-like lives free of worry (and even our problems are trivial compared to what the majority of the poverty stricken world encounters). I am, by no means, attempting to down-play your problems or hardships. I am merely sharing a story that I feel none of us have ever, nor will ever experience. Ever.

I woke up one morning feeling chipper and bubbly. I had been paid oh-so-generously by a client for whose family I photographed, and I was going to spend some of it on something I wanted! If you know me and money, you know that I mostly save it, or spend it only on something super important, or on someone else. But I felt this time I could buy something for myself guilt free. After all, I had earned it, didn't I?

I arranged for SuperDan to watch Sitora, and headed off to my destination: Accessorize! (AKA: Baku's version of Claire's). I had eyeballed an adorable owl necklace a few weeks before and desperately wanted it hanging around my neck. I am picky with jewelry, so if I see something I like, I am mesmerized and sucked in. I had waited all these weeks to make sure that I really wanted it. (A good friend of mine once gave me this advice: "If you think you want a tattoo, wait a year to think about it. If you are certain you still want it, then proceed. If not, don't get it!") Of course I've never gotten a tattoo, but I took this advice and used it towards accessories :)

I had my ipod turned up loud while I bounced down the streets wistfully dreaming of my precious owl necklace-to-be. (My sister-in-law Olivia may or may not have something to do with this infatuation...) I saw my store and was about to bolt inside, when all of a sudden I spotted two beggar children wandering in circles aimlessly, around, and around, and around.

My heart stopped. Then started. Then pounded.

They were being shooed away by security guards, and one passerby kicked them away.

My eyes filled with tears.

My righteous anger tank filled to the brim.

Here I was, about to walk inside a store to buy a frivolous piece of jewelry, that I really really wanted. Was I just about to pass these children by and let them be tormented and hated?

I stopped in my tracks and turned around towards them, only to find them chased off by a security guard. This time he meant business. They bolted down the street and turned the corner. What was I to do? I turned my walk into a light jog and started my manhunt.

I finally reached the corner where they turned. I looked down the alley. No sight of them. "Father, please lead me to them. I need to find them." I prayed.

I walked and walked and walked. I turned one last corner and squinted my eyes to see as far down the road as possible. And there they were. I found them. This time the girl was rolling her eyes and wobbling around from side to side, and the boy was crying out like an injured animal. Whether or not they were faking, NO CHILD should have to live this kind of life. Period. Can you picture your child doing this?

I walked, then jogged to reach them. They were walking away as fast as I could catch up. So finally, in one last attempt I shouted in Azeri, "Girl, come here!" She turned around in fear and curiosity. I beckoned her to come near. Her brother (I'm guessing he was anyway) came with her. They sheepishly looked up at my face. I asked them, "Don't you have parents? Don't you go to school? Are you hungry?"

Yes they had parents. No they didn't go to school. Yes they were hungry.

"I am going to go to McDonalds and will bring you cheeseburgers, fries, cola, and ice cream. Would you like that?"

They nodded yes.

"Wait here and I'll come back."

My heart was pounding with compassion and helplessness. I was doing so much and yet so little. There are beggar children and adults everywhere in this city. It's impossible to meet all their needs, or change their situation unless you work for a humanitarian organization or have some serious power. All I could offer was this meal. My language is meager, at best. There's not much counseling or support I can give besides money or food at this point.

When I came back with Happy Meals and ice cream cones in hand, they children came running at me with gigantic smiles. They ran from all the way across the street with their arms open wide. As they took the bag from me they delicately wiped the ice cream off my hands that had accidentally smudged. I looked them both tenderly in the eyes, put my hands on their shoulders, and smiled down at them... I'm pretty sure it was the only smile they'd seen all day. They thanked me, then ran off together and found a secluded concrete slab on which to dine on.

I will never forget this moment.

I then proceeded to go back into the store to by my owl necklace. Somehow it didn't seem to matter all that much anymore. Now every time I wear that necklace, I think of them and ask Father to protect and provide for his two darling, precious children.

Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for my Father in heaven.

Oh I see you

I wrote a song tonight. It just started flowing from my lips the minute my fingers hit the guitar. I'm not even kidding. I had no clue these words were in my head, or my heart. I was shocked and amazed the minute I started singing it. I wasn't even trying to write a song, I was practicing for leading worship tomorrow. This is the first time I've been completely spontaneously moved to write a song. In less than 20 minutes. I feel for certain that this song is for somebody. That somebody may even be me. But whoever it's for, may it touch your (and my) heart in a powerful way.
 

You stand there
All alone
It's hard to tell
If it's your tears
Or the rain falling down

Hush hush little baby
Daddy's gonna hold you tonight
Hush hush little baby
He's gonna make everything alright

So take off your mask
Let's forgive the past
We can do this together
Open up your heart
Let Him heal your scars
He will hold you forever...

Oh I see you
I cannot be fooled
Oh I see you
I know the truth
My darling, He is holding you
My darling, He is holding you

Hush hush little baby
Daddy's gonna hold you tonight
Hush hush little baby
He's gonna make everything alright
My darling, He is holding you
My darling, He is holding you

"Oh I see You" by Casey Gilboy
October 27, 2010
All rights reserved

Bum bum

This morning at breakfast.



Sitora points to mommy's mug and remarks, "Nice coffee."

Sitora then directs her gaze down to her diaper. (Yes, she didn't have pajama bottoms on. That would be due to a diaper leakage upon waking.)

She thinks for a moment while looking at her beloved diaper, then simply states, "Nice bum bum."

Well at least she doesn't have a self-esteem problem.

(Now if that story didn't make you laugh, you are a cold-hearted person.)

And a reminder, don't forget there is still time to enter my contest to win personalized stationary! FREE! All you have to do is email me an answer to this question at javamammacasey@gmail.com. It's easy, it's fun, and did I mention free?

Some people are just... amazing

Every once in a while on this journey of life, I have the privilege of meeting extraordinary people. People who go above and beyond. People who smile, and mean it. People who live on purpose.

I had the honor of photographing such people last week.

In fact, I respect them so much so, that I was extremely nervous with butterflies swarming around my stomach moments before we left for the photoshoot. How could I even possibly attempt to capture the amazing-ness of this family in mere pictures? I felt like I was photographing Moses, or the President!

I hope to rub shoulders with this family again someday. They are just that inspiring. The kind of people you hope to be like and you like to be around. They are arrows pointing to heaven.

I can only hope that I have that same affect on others.

P.S. Don't forget, 8 days left to enter to win this contest!

Musings of a toddler

Sitora has been saying the most redonculous things lately. I chuckle to myself all. the. time. Too bad I'm home all alone most times with no one else to chuckle with me! When SuperDan comes home I can't wait to recite word for word every mischeviously adorable comment that flows from her pretty pink lips!

Last night while putting Sitora to bed we overheard a cat fight outside (sadly, this is common due to the many strays roaming the coartyard.) Sitora shouts, "Baby crying!" ...pause... "Kitty cat crying!" ...pause... "Monkey?" ...pause, pause, pause... "All done."

Whenever I tell Sitora to ask nicely for something, she sweetly remarks, "Please thank you welcome!"

Yesterday Sitora pointed to Daddy's mole on his chest and compassionately said, "Oh, dirty!"

All of a sudden, for no apparent reason, Sitora will cover her face, close her eyes, blurt out, "FUNNY", then giggle about some invisible abstract humorous item I am not aware of. Angels maybe? ;)

This is what it sounds like when she counts. "One, tuuu, tree, fo, fife, six, seben, aye, nigh, TEN!"

Sitora tries to sing her ABC's. She does a pretty good job. When she gets to "LMNOP" she sticks her tongue out and goes, "La la la LO peee!"

I tripped on the sidewalk the other day and she stated, "Mommy, careful!"

Mommy- "Sitora, please pick up your toys."
Sitora- "Ok fine."

Sitora likes to fall backwards onto things, and she often shouts, "Oh! Bonk head."

We recently showed her a movie called, "Fantastic Mr. Fox". She can't say "fox" quite right.... she pronounces the "x" like "k". So we stopped watching that movie....

A few days ago I somehow found 2.4 seconds to myself to take a nice warm bath. Sitora was happily playing in the living room. I closed my eyes and soaked in the delicious smell of vanilla bubble bath from Bath and Body Works. All of a sudden I didn't smell delicious vanilla bubble bath. I smelled poop. My eyes bolted open as I peered over the edge of the bathtub. My toodler grinned at me and squealed with delight, then ran out of the bathroom. "Come here!" I shouted. "You made my bath smell bad!" (Have you ever noticed a poopy diaper on a child can permeate an entire room it seems, even after they've exited?") I ran after her leaving bubble bath trails all down the hallway.  Mommy- "Sitora, are you poopy?" Sitora- "No. Poopy bye-bye."

Well, hope you enjoyed the latest edition of "Musings of a toddler"!

Thanksgiving contest- enter to win!

Alright folks, it's that time again. "What time?" you ask....


Time for another giveaway!

In honor of Thanksgiving, and to get you all into a thankful spirit, I would like to give away my personalized stationary to one contestant who I feel has the most touching, inspiring, and honestly transparent entry.

All you have to do is email me your answer to this question at javamammacasey@gmail.com:

What experience have you gone through that was incredibly difficult and painful, but yet looking back now, you are thankful that it happened? How has this trial made you a better person, increased your faith, depth of love for Father, and made your heart more patient, tender, and wise?

All entries must be emailed to me by Tuesday, November 2 by 12:00pm central time (2 weeks away.) Please feel free to share this post with anyone who may be interested :)

Check out my website here to look at ideas for personalized stationary. You might as well start dreaming up what to pick if you win! Baku friends, if you are the winner we will meet personally to discuss your prize.

P.S. Personalized stationary is a great idea for Christmas, you know, those people who already have everything? Surprise your loved ones with cards containing a beautiful picture you know they would love and their favorite quote or scripture! It only takes a few moments of your time to email me your design ideas, and I do the rest! Plus it's shipped directly to any address you want (USA only). If you are interested in purchasing some, email me at javamammacasey@gmail.com

Read, set, go!

Retreat

Friends, fun, nature, horses, hiking, mountains, flowers, fall leaves, laughter, games, music, lessons, staying up late, goofing around, contemplating, soaking in silence...

It was wonderful and it was desperately needed.

Thank you Father.

Goodbye city

This will be my last blog post for a few days. We are preparing to leave on our youth retreat this weekend and there is so much to do and so little time!

Not to mention how incredibly busy we've already been. It's not always like this, and I don't particularly like it this way.

I'm looking forward to driving away, off into a dreamland of mountains and autumn leaves. Turning my gaze away from the city lights and sounds... only to drink in the beauty of nature and the quiet stillness that it brings.

I've never been a city girl deep down inside. I can't help but cringe at the thought of my daughter not understanding what it means to roll around in autumn leaves, chasing after puppy dogs and butterflies.

My husband and I need a date. Please. Pretty please. If only a quiet, romantic 30 minute walk through the luscious forest or under the sparkly stars. I love him. If only we could spend some time together once in a while...

So here's to nature- the unplugging of technology, the quiet refreshment away from noisy horns and cigarette smoke. Here's to Father's creation and the peace it can bring.

It's almost here. I can't wait.

Music spot

 

My music spot at the BRC was splendid. Beautiful day... beautiful crowd.... beautiful coffee. Check out my awesome assistant, Jack on the bongo. He's in our youth group, and he's pretty much amazing.

My awesome, totally faithful friends. But the most faithful fan of all? The handsome stud smiling for the camera.

We celebrated the Baku Roasting Company's 2nd anniversary- it was a blast! Love the balloons, love the staff, love everything. I don't know what I'd do without this oasis, it's such a lifesaver.

I played songs I've written, songs we sing about Father, songs by Mindy Gledhill, and my all time fav, "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. All you Titanic fans, you know who you are ;) I won't tell you about the time in junior high I was obsessed with this song... I recorded it over and over on a cassette tape (if that doesn't date me....) whenever it played on the radio. I would listen to the tape all night long and cry myself to sleep thinking about how Kate lost Jack- why did he have to die anyways? What a lousy ending.

This is my friend's favorite drink at the BRC, a caramel macchiato. It looks like this every time it's ordered. I just love the flower design on top... so cutesy! (P.S. the new mugs are from Dubai)

It was great to crash at home with my loves and "let my hair down" - literally! This is what my hair looked like after taking out my french braid crown. Another hairstyle for the next day (hint hint)... a "non-curling iron" hairdo that saves your hair some not-wanted damage.

 

 

 The next day I spent the afternoon with my lovely friend taking lovely pictures on a lovely day. 'nuf said.

 

 

Later that evening while I was making yummy potato soup for dinner, SuperDan fell asleep while he was supposed to be watching his daughter. She wrote all over herself. And the pillows. And her stroller.

Photographer, musician, teacher, despite all the "hats" I wear, at the end of the day, to Sitora, I am simply Mommy. She doesn't care what I do, all she knows is that she loves me.

It reminds me of Father's heart for us. He loves that we have talents, he loves that we use them, but more importantly, He loves us for who we are. Our identity is in Him, not what we do. 

I like that.

P.S. Several of you have posted comments with hair questions. I will answer them this week, don't worry! :)

Aging

*sigh*

I'm getting older.

Not old, just older.

I can't go as much as I used to. I can do as much as I used to. I can't survive off 5 hours of sleep like I used to. Oh the college years! I seemed to have endless amounts of energy and sharpness no matter what. (Remember those all-nighters we pulled studying? Ya. And I didn't even need/like coffee at the time.)

In 4 years I'll be 30. Wow. That sounds pretty old to me. Four years ago I got married. Four years is not that long.

I'm tryin' to keep up with the times but I'm laggin' behind... barely catching up when I can. I only know what's in style because I ask my youth group members if things are cool or not. I watch what my sister-in-laws wear. Skinny jeans are in? Okay. Scarves are in? Lots of scarves? Okay. Braids are in? Okay.

Don't get me wrong- I like my own style and proudly don't go with the current if I don't want to. But I used to just be the current... now I'm in this weird in-between stage of young/old.

But that's okay. I'm ok being me. I like aging, it's just I have to get used to what aging brings.

P.S. (Let's not even talk about that pre-baby body. Looooooong gone.)

Picture gallery

Sweet treats from my birthday date with Danny to an Azeri restaurant. You can see fruit jam in the background -you put in your mouth while you drink unsweetened tea (that way the tea tastes sweet). The baklava was delish, but I won't tell you about the hair I pulled out of it, and how I decided to continue eating the rest anyways...

She's a bathing beauty. 

Rubber ducky, oh what a faithful friend in times of need. I purposely put rubber ducky in our bath routine because I felt it was very sentimental. I grew up watching Ernie sing about his rubber ducky on Sesame Street and felt my child needed one too.  "Rubber ducky, you're the one!"

*Sigh* He is such an amazing father. Sitora simply adores her daddy. Her eyes sparkle when he comes home everyday and she can't wait to greet him with kisses, followed by wrestling and cuddles. The other night we were eating with a group of friends and when one of the little girls fell down he rushed to pick her up before the mom could, made sure she was okay, then tenderly put her back in her chair. I was beaming!

This is me on my first day of teaching a photography class at an international school here. Do I look teacher-y? :)

Well I hope you enjoyed the picture gallery! Just another day in our lives I guess :)

Vintage pearls at the metro

I am really into this singer at the current moment.

She helps keep me boppin' with a positive outlook when I'm riding the bus on a rainy, cold day.

Her music somehow magically transports me into a fairytale when I'm actually walking past dreary Soviet buildings and smelling cigarette smoke while hearing horns honk and people yell.

Her lyrics bring that sparkle back in my eye and remind me of the deep love I hold for my SuperDan.

Which is why I will be playing several of her songs this Sunday at my favorite coffee venue ;)

On another note, I found darling vintage pearl earrings for 1 manat ($1.20) by the metro station near our apartment. It really is like a secret treasure chest... you wouldn't believe the adorable items I can find down there!

So I'm thinking of going for a vintage look for my music spot. My new vintage pearls, a cute vintage dress, high heels, and a french braid crown with a flower. If only I could get my husband to dance with me the rest of the evening... Darling, you could be my Fred Astaire... add  "a little finesse, a sparkly dress, and I could be Ginger Rogers!"

"So pack your bags and lock your door,
I'll take you places you've not been before.

All I've ever wished to do
is travel through this life with you."

Hairstyle of the week for daughters

Alright fashion mammas, this hairdo is gonna make your daughter the talk of the evening! It's ridiculously easy and ultra adorable. It's great for any occasion, casual or formal. You can "dress up" the hairdo by adding fun bows or ribbons to match the outfit!

How to get started:

• Wet your child's hair (perfect for after a bath).

• Part the front section of hair by the forehead using a comb.

• Make sure the part starts on the far side of the head, even farther than normal.

• Start french braiding the section starting at the far end.

• Lift up the section of hair away from the rest of the hair so you don't continue braiding into the rest of the hair.

• Braid the hair all the way to the tips of that section.

• Pull the rest of hair into a ponytail and grab the braided section into it.

• Make the ponytail into a messy bun.

• Clip a cute bow or tie ribbon into the messy bun.

• Spritz a bit of hairspray all over.

Congrats- you're done!

It's concert time.

Bass- check.

Cool hat- check.

Microphone- check.

It's concert time!

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the music... all while sipping the best latté you've ever tasted.

No room downstairs? No problemo. We've got an upstairs. Nice view too.

Tap your feet to the music, maybe even dance a little if you so desire.

Jam session = success.

Coffee = superb.

Pumpkin cheesecake = delish.

Smiling audience = mission accomplished.

Mommy moments

My little princessa. Isn't she just a doll? I was able to try a new hairstyle on her today... one I've been dreaming of for quite some time. It's a french braid wrapped completely around her head, topped with a wreath crown of flowers and ribbons. The icing on the cake? Her favorite sparkly purse. She never wants to leave home without it.

Today we went to a harvest party and got to dress up! If you know me well, you know I love to get dressed up, for, well, anything! I went as a rock star with 3 of our students and we were the rockin-est rockers you've ever seen! Poofy hair, big black boots, leggings, *shudder*, so 80's!

Today was a good day. Let me share with you some treasures.

When Sitora and I were playing this morning, she accidentally bumped into her stroller. She kindly responded to the stroller, "Sorry! Welcome." I laughed and said, "Sitora, why did you say sorry?" and she replied, "Stroller hurt. Say sorry." I had to giggle, it was too precious! She's learning empathy, maybe at the moment there's no distinction between people and inanimate objects needing empathy, but it's the thought that counts right?

Today at the harvest party the children sang songs and recited passages, so we all sat in plastic chairs trying to focus while the wind whipped sand into our eyes. It was simply darling! Every time a performance was finished, Sitora happily clapped her hands and shouted. When a prayer was said, she couldn't wait to yell, "AMEN!" at the top of her lungs. She sat so intently and tried doing the motions with the kids up front. It was then that I started getting a little emotional, realizing my baby girl is growing up. She is interacting with her world, eagerly joining in with others with joy and excitement. She is such a gem! This girl is gonna love going to school. I don't know how I'm going to wait until she's old enough.

Then tonight while we were at someone else's house, I was desperate to find some toys for her while us adults talked. I found some plastic cups and sat them down on the floor for her to stack and play with. I had to walk out of the room for a moment, and when I returned, she had stacked them all up nicely and placed them back in the cupboard. She was cleaning up all by herself and I didn't even have to ask her! What a precious mommy moment I had as my heart filled with joy. You see, it would probably be easier to pick up my child's toys all time (not to mention faster) but every day I insist she clean up while we sing the traditional "clean up" song together. It can take a long time, and she gets distracted. I often feel slightly frustrated but make myself do it knowing it will be worth it in the end. Every day. So when I walked in the room only to discover she'd chosen to clean up all on her own without my promptings, it really blessed my mommy heart.

Every night when we pray for our family and friends, I have to help remind Sitora of everyone's names. After I suggest a name, she giggles while repeating the names, "Ya! Daddy!" "Ya, Chase!" "Ya, Annah!" She gets really excited about it and it make my heart so happy!

We had our very first official tea party together last week.

Let's just say things didn't go as planned, but then again, should a true tea party really have an agenda? I think not. I asked Sitora how she was feeling. She didn't respond. I asked her how her day was going so far. She didn't answer. She just dipped her cookie into her water, then poured the water everywhere. But that's okay. I just want to foster this time of open communication early. I want her to feel safe with sharing her feelings at home. I want her to know her mommy will always be a listening ear, that I'm never too busy to talk. I hope and pray I can always keep this mindset.