Shopping

(Sing to the tune of "I've got a dollar" from The Little Rascals)

"I'm going to America, I'm going to America, I'm going to America, hey hey hey HEY!"

Alright, I'm a little excited, can you tell? I'm making a list of all the wonderful things I need.

Hopefully I'll get one of these...





And some of this...







And of course some of these...






I'm gonna take my little lady sho-pping! She's already into shoes... what can I say?

Paid in full

This post is dedicated to Orxan and Aynur, two teenagers living at Merdekan Orphanage.

They were deaf.


Now they have hearing aides to help them, for the first time, experience the sounds of this world.



My dear friend here in Baku works at this orphanage regularly, and I've been privileged to serve alongside her and her team. The idea was presented of having our youth group raise the money for these hearing aides.

We decided to have a bake sale a few months ago on a Sunday morning. We were overjoyed to see every last goodie gobbled up and paid for with generous donations. I was touched at the dedication of our youth group, how they poured their efforts into even the little details of planning the sale.

Then we decided to have a youth concert. We took donations instead of a cover entrance fee and also sold baked goods.

I cannot even begin to express how proud I was of our students. First of all, the band members gave every last drop of love and effort into making sure we sounded good. And boy let me tell you, they sounded goo-ood. I may be a bit biased, but seriously, these students can rock the house. We've got some real talent here and my heart is bursting with pride over them! Actually, talent lies everywhere, its the patient and adventurous few who actually take the time and effort to seek it out. Its usually the humblest of all who have the most talent, in my opinion.

But the focus wasn't on us. Every song we sang glorified our King of Kings. And all the praise went to Him. I told myself if we didn't raise a dime that night, all that mattered was our Father was glorified.
The results of the night?

We REACHED our goal!

Those hearing aides are paid in full. Now Orxan and Aynur will go through therapy in order to learn how to hear and speak.

Mother Theresa once said," If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."

Language and life

Today was a fun, awkward day.

My best Azeri friend came over to watch Sitora while we left for language class. I always make sure there's time before we leave for us to sit down, drink tea, and chat about life. Between my little Azeri and her little English, we can usually carry on a fairly decent conversation.

It thundered outside while drinking tea, and I jumped with glee like a little girl and ran to the window to look outside.

Then we were off to language class this afternoon, which was a blast, as always :) I feel so lucky that I get the chance to study another language with my husband and our other good friend. I truly enjoy being students together. We chuckle at ourselves when we mess up, we say funny things to our teacher to make her laugh, while actually really trying hard to learn the material at the same time.

After class I took the metro and bus home. I arrived home to find my happy child was fed and content, and my kitchen had been cleaned. WHAT a feeling :)

Then, as I was saying goodbye to my friend, the doorbell rang. To my surprise it was some of my other Azeri friends! I was totally shocked and didn't expect them. Thankfully I had nothing on my schedule for the evening, so I just tried to be cool about it all :) We drank tea, talked about our different cultures, asked each other questions, and laughed at ourselves and our meager language skills.

Then they left.

Again, the doorbell rang.

It was a man. "Should I open it?" I thought. For some reason I did, even though Danny wasn't home. It was a sweet older gentleman telling me that something fell from his balcony on to mine. I went out on the balcony and sure enough, his clothes line had fallen onto our clothes line and was all tangled up. We fixed it, and with a smile he was on his way back up to the 7th floor.

Well I definitely got to practice my language skills today! Nothing like real life to cement it all in.






Aren't my friends beautiful?

Softie

This weekend was crazy busy, and this next weekend will also be crazy busy. Usually I don't want life to be so insane, but for some reason I'm able to handle this right now. If I work hard and finish strong, its going to be worth it in the end. Vacation is just on the horizon.

Sitora reached out and touched the burner today. It wasn't a bad burn but it scared the daylights out of me and her cry just broke my heart. Hopefully she'll learn from this lesson, I'd hate to see her go through that again.

I took her to a little park today. And what do you think her favorite part was? Uh huh, you guessed it, the sand. She played with it like it was the best toy in the world! I guess in some respects nature is the best toy in the world. Let a kid run their little heart out in nature where they can touch grass, throw sand, and feel the wind blowing in their face, and you'll see this wild yet peaceful look in their eyes. I love it.

Sitora is talking more. Every day she says new words! It just blows my mind how fast she's soaking up her world. She's so incredibly intuitive and is such a people person. About 5 times a day she will call out, "Mamma, Mamma, MAMMA!!!" until I bend down and look her in the eyes. Then she kisses me smack dab on the lips, then gives me a sweet little hug. Then she's off to whatever it was she was doing. I'm usually stunned with love for a few minutes every time she does this. How can such a tiny little child melt my heart in such a big way?

We watched "Charlotte's Web" together today- the newer version. I cried like a baby through the whole thing because it brought back so many memories from my childhood. I read the book and watched the cartoon version so many times growing up. I know all the lines and sing all the songs. When Charlotte died I just bawled my head off. Sitora looked at me like, "What's wrong mom?" I'm becoming such a softie.

Well, its off to bed with me. I'm still recovering from prom. I am officially old if its taking me this long to get back to my normal self after that.

Prom

Prom. Oh how I love thee.

I love doing everyone's hair.

I love seeing girls smile when they feel beautiful.

I love dancing.

Being the "undercover chaperon" isn't so bad after all...

Trading

I have to say that lately I've been feeling a bit down. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think it has something to do with missing family back in the states.

All my life I've been dreaming of the life I am living now. Why on earth would I not be completely and totally satisfied?

Because I never knew what it was like to have a child.

Life completely changed the moment Sitora Faye Gilboy entered my life. And not only did she enter our lives, but she entered the lives of our family. We have the most incredible family in the world- one couldn't dream of more amazing relatives. I am so close to my family and my in-laws. I feel like I can ask them anything, tell them anything, go anyplace and do anything with them!

My heart grieves not sharing life with them here. I see every adorable thing Sitora does on a daily basis and think to myself, "My mom would have loved to see this. She would have taken more photos than I did!" Or when I am pinched for a babysitter I think, "Danny's sisters would have run over here in a heartbeat." You get the picture.

You see, it was never hard for me to leave the country when I was a single gal. Adventure was on the horizon and my heart was churning to live overseas. But now, we have a little princess on this journey alongside us. And so many people love and adore her back home. I can't help but feel guilty at times that I've taken her away from that. And I feel guilty that she can't run and play freely in our 3 acre yard back in the states with a creek and apple orchard.

I received an incredibly encouraging email from one of our students here today. He reminded me about a lesson I gave a few months back about leaving behind all the "pretty things" back home in order to serve here, whatever the sacrifice may be. He told me that he's listening, even when I don't expect it.

Time to practice what I preach.

*sigh* And yet, I know its all worth it. Deep inside my heart of hearts I have no doubt at all. This is the life that He wants me to live, and I want to live it well.

I've traded a 3 acre yard for an apartment building so that I have more time to spend listening to others, loving well, and simplifying my schedule.

I've traded all my "pretty things" in order to give to those in need.

I've traded busy schedules in order to spend more quality time with my husband and daughter.

I've traded my car and driving freedoms in order to sit on the bus or metro and focus my heart on the people I see.

I've traded speaking my native language in order to learn another so that I can communicate with those I meet.

He says if you lose your life for His sake, you will find it.



I rest upon this promise.

Food poisoning

I was up all last night sick from food poisoning (or water poisoning, not sure which one).

It was horrendous to say the least. I'll spare you the details... (you're welcome.)

I was talking with Danny today about what its like getting sick in foreign countries. Its not the same as getting sick back in states. Its a whole different level of pain. I don't exactly know why, but I think it has something to do with "different" bacteria than what your body is used to.

I took a trip down memory lane with Danny and we talked about our previous experiences in this area. My first longer-term trip overseas was to Costa Rica for 2 months when I was 17 years old. I went swimming in a small pond with some friends next to a building we were helping renovate. That same week I started experiencing horrible stomach pains and the joys that go with it. Weeks went by and I was afraid to tell anyone about it. Finally I got the guts to bring the subject matter up to my nurse friend. She gasped and exclaimed, "Casey, you got an amoeba from the pond!" She took me to the local pharmacy shop, bought me a tiny little box of "worm-be-gone" miracle cure pills, and I was back to my usual, healthy digestive self within days. If I learned anything from this experience alone, it was make sure you throw up in the toilet before anything else....

Then I moved to a little country called Cambodia for 9 months when I was 19 years old studying for my college degree. This internship was amazing and I loved every minute of my life there. My partner, Joanna lived with me and we experienced all sorts of crazy things together that year. One of them was, well, getting sick. One night she was so sick and delusional that she dragged her mattress across the apartment and planted it smack dab in front of the bathroom. She kept trying to talk but her speech was blurred and she was swaying from side to side. The moment I truly knew something was seriously wrong was when she started acting angry with me. Joanna is the sweetest girl on earth, and for her to act that way meant something was not right. (In the end she was fine by morning, just in case you were wondering.)

So I wrote a song about our, ehem, bathroom problems that year. Would you like to hear it?

Oh I love internship, boy is it nice
I get to eat lots of good things, like rice rice and rice
Everyday I wake up, its the same ol' routine
Language lesson, work, and then the latrine.

I'm singin'
You have the right to remain hungry
You have the right to say no
Anything you eat, can be used against you
Anything you eat, interns beware.

Some interns chose Australia or Europe
In my opinion, boy did they screw up!
They didn't know how much fun it could be
Sittin' on the pot with Joanna and me!

I think someday I'll write a book
About all the trips to the toilet I took
But for now I'll thank Him up above
For sending me to Cambodia, the land that I love.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

The end.

Doesn't this make you want to move to a foreign country too? Ah, don't worry... it's just a teensy tiny downside. Otherwise, this is the adventure of a lifetime!

It's the Climb

I was asked by my friend today if I had anything to blog about after the day's events. Not really. I mean, it was fun and all, but nothing blogworthy from it.

But, there's alway something on mind worth blogging about! Any other women want to second that motion? We've always got somethin' to chat about, now don't we? :)

Even if there's no specific event to talk about, I love talking about my baby girl. Because in all actuality, RAISING her is an event in-and-of itself! Every little moment in our day is noteworthy to me, the mamma. Every cute grin, every frusterating pout, every "first", hey, and even every "second" :)

I've been very introspective lately. Hmmmm... why? Is it wrong? I don't think so. Often I feel a bit trapped, and it feels good to paint my feelings as words, or illistrate my ponderings. If no one ever read my words, I know You see them, Lord. And there is healing in it all I think. I know I'm not strong enough to keep everything inside all the time.

Somehow portraying my small, simple life with words makes me feel important. I know that my life IS important. It's a story written by Him. But at times I can't help but feel a bit invisible.

Life has its Epic Moments, but its the daily, routine moments, the "times inbetween" that create most our stories. It's in the mundane that I can practice my humility. Laying down my rights somewhere between diaper changes and midnight tears. The submission of heart despite chaos and weariness.

And yet, I wouldn't trade my life for the world. Despite all hardships, the view from the mountaintops is breathtaking and leaves me awestruck. I believe Mily Cyrus sings a song about "The Climb". I don't listen to her music, but I'll have to admit, I do like that song, cheesy as it may be. Like today, Sitora was extremely overtired after our day's events, and it was leaving me flustered and exhausted myself. But as we slipped into her bedroom and she laid her weary head upon my neck and quietly fell asleep, I breathed in deeply her beautiful smell, and thanked Him for precious moments like these.

Whatever your valley, whatever your tears, remember, the view from the top of the mountain is going to be worth every uphill battle.

Confessions of a hairstylist

Alright alright, you caught me. I'll confess.


I'm addicted to hair.



Therefore, I sign myself up for any and every possible event where my hair styling addiction need can be filled.


Weddings, school dances, formal events, you name it, I'm your girl! Don't know what hairstyle you want? No problemo. I have a myriad of hairstyle ideas stocked up in this noggin of mine just waiting to be released!


I packed my bag full of curling irons, bobby pins, brushes and combs, jumped in a taxi and was on my way. "Where to?" you ask. A school play. The title was "Canterbury Tales". Girls dressed up in renaissance gowns require great hair to match ;)



I couldn't help but smile watching the girls prance around in their dresses and up-do's. I just love the feeling of seeing a girl who knows she is beautiful. Not a stuck-up, I'm-all-that kind of beautiful. But an innocent, sweet, pure beautiful.


In one hour's time I somehow managed to finish about 10 girls hair, barely finishing in time for the lights to dim to start the show. After racing around with a hot curling iron in a room with no air conditioning, sweating becomes inevitable. All of a sudden, I smelled something awful. Something dreadful.


It was me.


Ohmygoodness. I need perfume or body spray or deodorant. And I needed it NOW.

I lug my huge purse around every single day of my life containing every single thing a woman could ever possibly need. (And why do I have sore shoulders all the time?) Just ask my family, they'll tell you. I have everything. Danny always makes fun of me that I have the "Mary Poppin's never-ending bag".



But this time, I managed to forget my body spray. And this was not good. I frantically looked around for something... anything. And what did I find?



Hairspray.



Hey, when you're desperate, you'll do anything.



And this, my friends, is a confession of a hairstylist.

How long?

Today in our ladies group we studied Psalm 6. One of the questions we were asked to discuss was, like this Psalm, do we ever cry out to Him, "How long?"


Yes.


Most recently, my cry has been, "How long before I will get a full night's sleep?" Poor Sitora is not enjoying the weaning process and she screams her head off at certain times of the day (or night). I know I need to stay consistent in, well, everything as a parent really. But sometimes its really hard.


I know that one day she'll be all grown up, moving out, and starting her own independent life. And that is one of the joys of parenthood, to train up your child to follow Him, to have their own independent life honoring and serving Him. And when that time comes, I will hopefully be getting a good night's sleep :)


Until that day comes, I will look forward to a daily afternoon nap to recover!

Woop woop! Let's hear it for my 3 really really great things about today!

Number 1: My Azeri friend, Lina came over today. Danny and I went on a date to our favorite coffee shop and played Settlers of Catan the 2 Player Card Game while she watched Sitora and cleaned my house. Um.... basically like every mom's dream. Oh, and did I mention that we were called "nerds" more than once by our friends who ran into us at the café and saw our game?





Number 2: ALL my pre-baby pants fit! I mean, maybe I don't look exactly the same in them as I used to... but hey... the important thing is that they fit, right??? Besides, my new shape gives me pride as I consider it my "I bore and birthed a child" trophy :)

Number 3: WE BOUGHT OUR PLANE TICKETS FOR AMERICA THIS SUMMER!

Joy, happiness, excitement... all wrapped up in one little day.

:D Glee!

Let's take a walk

I thought I would share some of my favorite photos of Baku with you. Sometimes we can look at a situation and only see the bad. But I'd like to consider myself the "glass half full" kinda gal. So cheers to the bright side of life! This photo was taken on Mother's Day as Danny, Sitora, and I walked all throughout town.





Here are my loves walking through a famous cemetery dedicated to soldiers. Its actually a very beautiful place where flowers bloom and people stroll along.








Anyone need some fruits or vegetables? This Lada is your one-stop, shop 'til you drop food center! Well, not quite :)





Here is the Old City. You know, every city has an "old part" where modern buildings and roads have been built around over time. I particularly love this Old City because it actually looks like a fortress. There used to be an oil/fire pit around the city walls enemies needed to cross in order to invade. Sounds like a movie! I'd watch it, only if there was a good love story.






Here is a spectacular view of the Caspian sea. This shot was taken on top of the Maiden's Tower, which is a historical site. There are many myths and theories as to why the Maiden's Tower is famous. One particular idea is that a young maiden was being forced to marry a man she did not love, and therefore was unable to wed her true love. They say she jumped off the tower in order to avoid a loveless marriage.











And this, my friends, is Maiden's Tower.

A long time coming...

So, after years of downright stubborn refusal... I've started a blog.

Why?

Because I NEED to get my thoughts out. I journal with a real pen and paper regularly, but there's something healing and relieving about posting thoughts for the public eye. It's as if I sat down at a cute little café and drank coffee with you and told you everything I'm writing down at this very moment. Oh how I love fellowship, encouragement, seeing the smile of a friend - albeit even if its a cyber-smile :)

I guess what's on my mind most lately is loneliness. This business of living overseas can be very isolating to say the least. Don't get me wrong... I love my life here. Wouldn't change a thing. But, the friend factor is seriously lacking.

I've lived in many states and countries in my life, and each time I move I grieve leaving a deep and wonderful friendship behind. Even though I keep in contact with these dear friends, it can never be the same if you no longer live in the same city. It's hard when you can't actually share life with your friends.

I look back on all the friendships I've acquired over time and rejoice wholeheartedly for the way each and every friend has helped encourage and shape me. I wish I could keep every single one of them with me and take them everywhere I go. In one sense I do, in my heart, but I want them all with me for real.

I guess if anything, its teaching me to yearn for HIM.

If I had everything and everyone I wanted in life, then I would have no need for Him in my life. It teaches me to reach for Him, to fill those empty spots and hurts that people aren't able to fill.

I can't wait to spend eternity with Him, and all my besties in the world! For then we shall never be apart.

I dedicate this post to all my friends all over the globe. You have loved me at my best and my worst. You've cried with me, laughed with me, admonished me, comforted me, and accompanied me on this journey we call life.

To all my loves.