I've been struggling lately with who I am and who others want me to be.
I haven't been doing a very good job of being who I truly am. I've been questioning myself, if who I am is really good, if who I am is really who people want to be friends with, if who I am is really special.
Tonight I had a breakthrough.
Father has made me how I am, I certainly can't change that. And I think He made me a certain way for a reason. I'm pretty sure, no, I'm really sure He wants me to be me. I don't think He wants me to change according to the opinions around me. I think He wants me to become more like Him everyday, while at the same time accepting the personality I have.
I sat at the piano for a very, very long time tonight. I haven't had a piano in my own home for over a year. It was way past due time. I played until my fingers hurt and my voice squeaked. Don't get me wrong, I love guitar, but it's not my first love. Sadly, it is my second. (I started learning guitar basically because you can't drag a piano into the jungles of Africa. Not that I've been there lately, but you never know!)
Somehow playing my favorite instrument and letting my heart cry out to my Father released a lot of built up tension from the past months. I felt more me than I have in a long, long time.
The true me. And I'm not afraid to hide it anymore.