Goodbye

I can't believe the time has flown by so quickly.

I'm saying goodbye to my family. I'm saying goodbye to my best friends. I'm saying goodbye to rolling green hills, clean air, smiley strangers, and Wal-Mart.

But its also a time for hellos! I am going to see my love in 3 days and my heart is pounding with excitement. It definitely has been hard without him these past 3 weeks. But on the other hand, it has been so amazing to stay longer with the ones I love.

My family and I had so much fun and I am so grateful for the quality time we spent together. We took Sitora to so many places... it was amazing! Parks, zoos, activity centers, restaurants, and IHOP in Kansas City where we all spent some much needed time with Father. I wish I could scoop up everyone and everything I love here and take them with me wherever I go in life forever.

The longer I've been back in America the more I remember that I'm different. I'm not really American in some respects, and I am definitely not Azeri. I am a third culture person. I am my own breed. All those out there who fall under this same category, you know who you are! :)

I don't really completely fit into either culture. I'm forever changed.

I know one thing is true though... my true citizenship is not of this world and I will never feel completely at home until I am home with my Father. I have not been called to live a life of comfort. I have not been called to serve myself and live selfishly. I have not been called to store up treasures on earth. I have been called to lose my life for His sake, to love Him, to sacrifice, to serve, and to store up treasures in my eternal home.

So, goodbye, hello, and everything in between.

Stand still

Life's precious moments.
How I love to capture them.
How I long to make time stand still.
And in a way, I can.

My love

Tomorrow my love leaves the country. *Sigh*

I knew this decision would be hard. But it was one I made out of love for my family.

Originally I decided to stay in America longer than Danny so Sitora and I could spend more quality time with my family. I knew it would be worth it in the long run after being busy visiting people during our vacation. I knew we would need some serious "crash" time to just chill and be together one last time. I knew it would be hard to be apart from my love, but I didn't realize my heart would ache this badly. We've already been apart for almost 2 weeks and I feel horrible.

So my love leaves tomorrow and he will take my heart with him. I know I will enjoy every moment I have here and I'm trying to soak it all in one last time. But part of me cannot be happy. You see, when I wed my best friend 4 years ago, we two became one.

After 4 years of marriage I am more in love with my husband then ever. We've been through a lot together, maybe more than the average newlywed couple endures. Maybe because of it all we've grown even closer than we could have imagined otherwise.

He's my best friend and the love of my life. I tell him everything on my mind, all the time. He's my faithful listener. I could spend 24 hours a day with him with no break every day forever and still never get sick of him. I love how he makes me laugh, how he makes me feel secure and safe, how he makes me feel treasured and loved.

Not to mention that my husband is insanely attractive. I mean, really, am I seriously the luckiest girl on the planet or what?!

Until we are together again, my heart is broken. I love you.

Beauty

Blue skies
Blue eyed
Beauty.

No more tears

Hello all my dear friends. I have left you with nothing for a very long time.

Every waking moment has been filled with fun and laughter, family and friends, nature and puppies, walking and talking, coffee and chocolate. Not much time for blogging.

It's been a month since we returned home for vacation. One month ago my heart dripped with tears not knowing how I would regain the strength to leave yet once again. But not today. Today my heart sings. I have been inspired, empowered, and encouraged to press on once I step back onto that plane. I have treasured every moment spent in my country and I will keep those treasures locked up inside my heart to keep me strong in the trialing times ahead.

Father has sent me gift after gift after blessed gift, showering me with love and laughter. I can't even begin to tell of all the ways He has proven his jealous love for my heart. I am His and He is mine. Together we are beautiful.

My dream is unfolding before my eyes. One of Father's merciful gifts was the camera I've been longing for. Now I can capture moments like these. Take a breath, wipe your tears, and drink in the beauty of life with me now.