Why I love him

I used to melt when you brought me flowers and chocolate.

You told me you loved me for the first time by the lake and my heart skipped a beat.

You gave me my first kiss under the midnight sky and took my breath away.

You placed a ring on my finger that I adore to symbolize your love and commitment.

But these days it doesn't take much to deepen my love for you. It's so much more than dates and movies, more than sweet words and soft touches.

When you wake up in the middle of the night to give our daughter a kiss and take her potty, I grow more in love.

When you get on the floor and wrestle her, causing giggling fits and screams of delight, I grow more in love.

When you vacuum the floor when I didn't even ask for help, I grow more in love.

When you massage my aching back and pat my tummy just to say "hello" to our little peanut, I grow more in love.

When we both get a horrible night's sleep and I have bad breath in the morning, yet you still give me a kiss and a smile, I grow more in love.

When I see you reading your Bible, I grow more in love.

When you preach and teach others about the Lord, I grow more in love.

When you take the time to stop and listen to one in need, I grow more in love.

When you live your life as the leader and man Father has called you to be, I grow more in love.

Love is so much more than a feeling. Even though we've experienced that beginning stage of our devotion together, it doesn't even begin to tip the iceburg of what our love is today.

I love you more today more than I did yesterday. You are my best friend and the love of my life.

1 Corinthians 13

 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part,  but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.  And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 

A child of the King

36 weeks... the end is almost here!

Baby boy, I know you are nestled warm and snugly inside my tummy. I'm sure it seems like the best place in the whole wide world. But I can guarantee that you will love life outside of the womb! So many people are waiting anxiously for your arrival. You can't even begin to imagine the amount of love in store for you! Not only from us, your earthly family, but from your Heavenly Father. If I can barely fathom my own love for you, how could we comprehend the depth, the width, the length, and the height of His love for you? Because His plans for you are good, because His plans for you are deeper and truer than anything I could ever dream for you, I rest in the knowledge that you are in His hands. You are His child! A child of the King!

Jeremiah 29:11-13 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

My zombie state

Last night wasn't pretty.

You know, when you leave the hospital when you have your first baby, they forget to send you home with a parenting manual. One of those "Here's what to expect every single minute of your child's life and how to cope" kinda books? Ya. I'd pay big bucks for that one.

I knew I'd lose some sleep as a parent, but I never expected all these strange combinations of sleep deprivation. Never in a million years.

Sleeping at night has become a strenuous task for this preggo mamma. I feel a bazillion horrible symptoms at once. Like:

1. Restless leg syndrome (I know, I know, it sounds crazy, but many people have it and I am totally not making it up!)
2. Heartburn
3. Back pain
4. Leg cramps
5. Bloody nose
6. Having to go to the bathroom every hour
7. Needing a drink in the middle of the night
8. Tossing and turning generally every 20 minutes
9. Feeling baby kicking me throughout the night (It's sweet really. But sometimes if feels like he's punching his way out...)
10. My mind constantly running, thinking about what life will be like with the baby
11. And there are a myriad of other symptoms I am sparing you the details of. Believe me, it's for the better. You're welcome.

I have this plan laid out to help my nights go a little smoother amidst the chaos. I stuff about 5 pillows around my body so that I am propped in the perfect sleeping position to support my back and belly. I keep a water bottle, tums, and tissues next to my bed. I make sure there is a clear path to the door so I don't fall on my face in the middle of the night meandering to the bathroom. That's never fun. Especially when you are pregnant. But that's another story.

Despite my best attempts, I still don't sleep well. Like last night.

My daughter woke up crying in the other room so SuperDan went to comfort her and take her potty. That woke me up and it usually takes about 30 minutes for me to fall back asleep when that happens.

She woke up crying again. So this time I took her potty, put her back to bed, then stared at the ceiling for another 30 minutes before entering dreamland.

Then she mischievously slipped into our bed a few hours later. I awoke to a warm trickling sensation down my leg.

Yes. She had peed on me.

Oh the woes!

I got her changed, put her on the potty, tucked her back on bed, then came back to our bed wondering how in the world I would avoid the wet spot. I tried to maneuver myself around it but I kept accidentally touching it and cried out in disgust. SuperDan awoke and offered to go sleep on the couch so I could take his side of the bed. Who wants to change the sheets in the middle of the night? Not me.

When the alarm went off reminding me it was time to get ready for church, I felt like a train hit me. Really? This is torture. It really is.

Off to church we went. Me in my zombie state, SuperDan wired up on coffee, and my toddler bouncing off the walls as if she'd slept for 10 years straight. How can little kids pull that off, anyways?

Church was difficult. I moved this way and that, shifted in my chair, tried to look like a normal adult. To no avail. I waddled out into the foyer so I could pace around. I was followed two different times by cute little old ladies checking on me, just making sure I was okay. I laughed inside my head thinking, "Oh thanks for your concern! I was totally going into labor and I don't know what I would have done without you!" I smiled and thanked them but assured them that I was fine, just uncomfortable.

It's funny you know. One day I'm going to wake up and my children will be grown and I will be getting a totally awesome night's sleep every single night. I'm sure I will look back on these memories and laugh. I know it's just a phase in my life that I have to go through being a mom.

This afternoon I was ready for a nap. The little princess remarked that she was off to the potty to go #2. This usually is no problem for her to do by herself. But something inside told me to go check on her after about 10 minutes.

Mother's intuition, never leave home without it! I found #2, lots of #2. In places where #2 should never be. I exclaimed, "Stop! Freeze! Don't move! Mommy's getting some wipes. Don't touch anything!"

My adrenaline was rushing too much after this point, so the possibility of a nap floated away like a cloud. Oh well, there's always the chance that tonight might be better!

Until that day (you know, the day when I actually will get a good night's sleep) please forgive my zombie state. I didn't used to have bags under my eyes, I can assure you! Now I better go change the sheets before I forget and sleep on the dried pee tonight... oh dear.

Baby G Maternity Photoshoot

When you have a photographer photographing another photographer, the possibilities are endless! We were like two kids in a candy store. It was waaaay too much fun.

New life. So beautiful and mysterious. So wonderful and yet so incredibly life-changing. Isn't is amazing to think, before we were born, He knew us?

Living simply

This is where we have been living for the past 7 months. We have a bedroom and then store all our packed boxes and luggage in another room.

I'll admit, it's been tough fitting in all our stuff in such a small space. We gave away or sold the majority of our possessions when we left Baku last summer, so thankfully we don't have loads of things.

When you have two adults, a toddler, and a baby on the way, one bedroom can get a little cramped. But you know what? We're doing it. It's possible.

I just keep reminding myself that this too shall pass. We won't live here forever. Even though it's been an extremely huge blessing to be able to stay here with family, I still yearn for a place to call my own.

Until then, we are living simply.