Ok, so I've really been thinking a lot about my last post. I have many things on my mind that relate to marriage.
When I was working as an administrative assistant before my husband and I were married, I felt like I was the only unwed virgin working at the office. If anyone asked about my purity ring (thinking it was an engagement ring) I would explain how it was a symbol of my purity for my wedding day. Almost everyone I told was totally shocked and said how awesome that was. I remember one girl saying to me, "I wish I would have waited." I didn't judge these people at all- I just felt pity! They didn't realize what a treasure and a gift purity is.
Our society is a microwave society. We are taught to have what we want when we want it. It doesn't just involve sex. It involves all kinds of things. We are told to use our credit cards to buy things we don't have the money for. We are told to buy houses and cars that are above our financial means. We try to keep up with the Jones's and end up being pulled away in the current. Why do you think our country is dealing with extreme debt these days? Everyone is buying what they can't afford, not just the government.
But back to my original thought. In this day and age we are taught to have sex when we want where we want and with whom we want. The idea of "waiting" is completely forgotten. Have you ever had to wait for something you really wanted? Think of Christmas morning as a child. Weren't we all bubbling over with anticipation wondering what special treasures lay wrapped up under the tree? How much more did we value those special Christmas presents because we had to wait? Or how about if you ever had to save up for a toy or clothes as a child or teenager? I think we all take better care of our possessions if we had to save up and earn them. If we had to work hard and wait for that item to become our own, it had more meaning. When someone just hands us something, we are less likely to take better care of it. Why? Because we did nothing to earn it.
Single girl, if your boyfriend is asking you to sleep with him to prove your love for him, is he saying that you are worth waiting for? Is he treating you like the present wrapped under the Christmas tree, waiting to open you for a special appointed day?
And then the question poses itself... if this generation doesn't consider their partners worth waiting for, what's to say they will consider them worth fighting for?
You see, the going gets tough and a relationship isn't always perfume and roses. At some point in a relationship one or both of the partners have a decision to make. They need to decide if the relationship is worth fighting for.
Like my previous point, if we didn't work hard and wait for something special to become our own, we are less likely to value it later on. If this generation isn't waiting and saving their purity for marriage, they may be less likely to stick it out and fight it through when things start crumbling.
I'm not just making this up. Statistics show the divorce rate is climbing. Even among believers. We need a wake up call. It's our job not only to show an example of persevering in marriage, but it is also our job to teach the next generation about it. We need to be vocal with our young people. Don't be afraid to talk to your teenagers about sex and marriage. Chances are they've already heard about it in school or from their friends or on facebook. Better for them to hear it from you then an untrustworthy source. Don't be afraid to talk about it to our young people- they need to hear it from those who use the Scriptures as their source of truth. Cosmo magazine isn't going to teach your teenage girls to value purity- I can guarantee you that.
I've already started teaching Sitora simple truths about modesty by not buying baby or toddler bikinis for her. I want her to learn about dressing modestly from a young age. I have also starting reading books to her that teach purity values a toddler can understand. When she grows older and she starts understanding more and the questions start forming in her head, I want to be there to give her Scriptural advice and stories from my life. I will be honest with my mistakes and truthful with my experiences.
You may be thinking, "Who am I to give advice to young people today about purity- I blew it when I was young?" If you have regrets, don't be afraid to use that as your testimony in teaching them about purity. Explain that you regret something from your past, but Father has shown you the right way to live and you have found forgiveness and a new start!
I have always been very vocal about my purity choices, starting from when I a teenager who had never been kissed. I was made fun of by many people and looked into shocked faces many a time. But it was all worth it to me when the day finally came that the man I would marry also gave me his first kiss. How wonderful that we both waited for that very moment to give each other a special gift we had never given anyone else! I want my children to know this is attainable. It isn't easy. It's hard. It's very very hard. But the best things in life are worth the work and wait.
Young person, you are worth waiting for, and you are certainly worth fighting for. Don't settle for anything but Father's best in your life!