Life has been on fast-forward the past few weeks and I've hardly had any time to settle my thoughts. It's crazy how one event or one decision can change everything.
Two months ago I was in America buying and stocking up on items to bring back to Baku with me. One minute I'm planning my life as normal, the next minute everything turns upside-down. And now here I am, selling those very items I just bought.
We are moving.
Long story short, we have to leave the country. We are no longer able to live and work here. It was not something we were prepared for. We thought we knew what these next years of life held for us. We were focused on our work here and were excited for what was planned. And all it took was one decision for our lives to be drastically altered.
Not only do we have to leave, but we have to leave in two weeks.
Packing up your life in two weeks, does that sound easy? Not so much.
How do you spend good quality time with your friends and find complete closure in such a short period of time? How do you process everything, pray through everything, think through everything? How do you calm yourself down when you feel overwhelmed and stressed with all that lies ahead? How do you make yourself take a break for a moment when you realize all that needs to be done? How do you spend quality time with your child when you should be packing and cleaning 24/7? How do you explain to your 2 1/2 year old that life is going to change drastically? It's tough. It's really tough. Ask me in about one month how to do it all and I'll have the answer. As for right now, I'm just trying to live through it.
I didn't really think I was attached to "things". We try to live simply and hold loosely to our possessions. But small as it may be, the amount of stuff we have is still dear to my heart. As I sort through Sitora's clothes and toys and my household items... my heart starts to break as I face the fact that I will part with these things forever. We simply cannot take back all our possessions across the ocean. It's not practical financially. But the most important reason we are giving/selling most of our possessions? Because our friends here cannot find good quality American items anywhere else, unless people like us moving away leave it for them.
So I'm saying goodbye to Sitora's train set with the little people and cars she's played with since day one in Baku. I'm saying goodbye to the books I read to her every single night. I'm saying goodbye to her little keyboard her Nana brought from America. I'm saying goodbye to sweet pink little baby girl clothes and shoes. I'm saying goodbye to the gorgeous bedding set I've loved so dearly. I'm saying goodbye to Christmas ornaments and Thanksgiving candles. I'm saying goodbye to incredibly life-changing books I've dragged across the world. I'm saying goodbye to all these earthly possessions that essentially have zero eternal value. I'm saying goodbye to the wonderful, adventurous life we have lived here, and saying hello to an unknown future ahead of us.
We thought this was "it" for us. We thought this was "the place" we were ending up for a good long while. I feel like Abraham, or Moses, or Joseph- being moved around from place to place not sure where Father has in mind. But one thing I do know for sure, I know the One who holds my future in His hands. And that, my friends, is the safest place to be.
Here we come America. Let's see what you have in store for us this time :)