I posted a while back about this ladies study I am going to. We are reading and discussing the book The Excellent Wife.
It is seriously kicking my booty. I highly highly highly recommend it. I don't recommend every book I read.
I think the reason this book intrigues me so much is because it gives really specific examples, situations, thought patterns, and uses scripture to answer problems. It doesn't give wishy-washy answers that "sound good to the ears". It gives hard-core truth. I like that.
One thing the book really promotes is how wives play such an important role in the family. One of our jobs is to honor our husbands, lift them up, and allow them the opportunity to lead. One specific example really hit home for me. The author talked about how important it is for us to let our husbands make decisions (and obviously if he loves Father he will turn to you for advice and support in the decision making process). She said that if we give our opinion and our husband still thinks the family needs to go with his decision, we are to obey and honor him. This does not count if your husband is asking you to sin or is hurting you or someone else, mind you. The author explained that by letting our husbands make decisions, we are allowing Father to work in their hearts. If they make the wrong decision, maybe Father is going to teach them a lesson or character trait through the problems leading after the decision.
Something else the book touches on is how Father has placed us in our husbands' lives also to help point out areas in their lives that could be better. But it's very important for us to do it in love and with respect. She explained that marriage doesn't mean you become a doormat. But we can honor our husbands while at the same time bringing up issues you see in their lives that could be worked on. We are to use scripture and kind words, not nagging, rolling our eyes, yelling, or using rude words or name calling.
My husband does consult me on many matters of our family's business, but with many issues I give them the reigns with full trust. I think he turns to me for advice even more so because I trust him and honor his decisions always.
I'll give a simple recent example.
A few weeks ago we were traveling to visit friends and relatives in a different state. Whenever you travel as a family you can expect your normal routine (like meals and naps) to be a bit altered. One morning while I was getting ready in the bathroom Sitora came running to me and asked if she could have cereal for breakfast. Not knowing what everyone else was eating at the time and not knowing what all was in the kitchen for options, I just told her "yes" and said she could ask her Daddy to get it for her. Seconds later she came running back to me with tears in her eyes exclaiming, "Mommy, Daddy won't let me eat cereal! He said I have to eat a banana!" Right then I had a choice to make. Was I going to honor my husband or fight for my own opinion? I decided to honor him. I bent down on my knees to look my daughter in the eye and explained, "Well honey, if Daddy thinks a banana is a better choice for breakfast, then we should obey him. I'm sorry I confused you about the cereal. Maybe we can have it another time. Go back into the kitchen and eat a banana like Daddy says." She quickly agreed and happily ate her banana. I hope that in this instance I was also teaching my daughter what it means to honor authority.
I could go on and on about this topic, but there is just too much to say. Again, I remind you that submitting to our husbands does not apply when they are asking us to sin or are hurting us or someone else. In that case we take different measures. The book discusses that for anyone who is curious.
I hope I finish this study a changed women and a better mom and wife.