I remember walking out of the junior high building after school with my backpack hanging on one arm. Laughing and chatting with my friends, one asked what I was doing that evening. My shoulders slumped as I remembered. Piano lessons. It didn't sound "cool" telling my fourteen-year-old classmate that my evening consisted of an instrument I'd been playing since age seven, but I somehow mumbled the truth while turning to say goodbye.
"Mom, I'm quitting piano lessons," I announced as I arrived home. Finally, I could start enjoying the freedom that every junior high student deserves. Why should my evenings be spent slaving over classical music that just didn't resonate with my maturing soul?
"Then I'm selling the piano," she answered.
I was stunned. Sell the piano? But why? I could still play songs I liked and tinker around when I felt like it. Just because I was quitting lessons didn't mean we had to throw the baby out with the bathwater!
"Please, no. I still want to play it," I remarked.
"Well, then why don't you ask the worship leader at youth group to teach you songs you might enjoy more instead?"
My mother was a genius.
The rest is history.
Suddenly, music came alive to me once again. My new piano teacher quickly became my musical mentor and changed the course of my life forever. She knows who she is. I love her more than she could ever know.
Not only did I start learning chords and song composition to build upon my foundation of reading music and music theory, but I began the process of figuring out how to play songs by ear and improvise. I learned how to sing along while I played. How to really feel the music.
I started as a backup singer for my youth group worship team at age fourteen and soon after was asked to play piano as well. At age fifteen I was asked to lead worship for our small group while my friend played guitar next to me. After feeling helpless without a piano in the room, I taught myself how to play guitar. By age sixteen I was leading worship for my Christian school's worship chapel.
During my junior year, several of my classmates and principal took a road trip from Omaha, Nebraska to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri. Back then they were still meeting in a small trailer and were mostly unknown to the world. If you've never heard about this ministry, the short version is they have a heart for prayer and worship 24/7.
I'll never forget the moment I heard her sing. Her red bandana tied around her forehead, her brown locks delicately set in place and effortlessly cascading around the bandana. And oh, that voice. That voice! She was singing spontaneously on the worship team about the Lord roaring like a lion, and I was mesmerized. You may have heard of her. Misty Edwards.
We came home from that trip changed. We had to keep this prayer movement going in our own lives. We were given permission by our principal to spend our study hall and occasional lunchtime to fast, pray, and listen to worship music in one of the classrooms. Some days we would drive over to a small inner-city church and play live worship and pray together during study hall time, opening up the church for whoever wanted to join us.
I started opening up my Bible and placing it on my piano stand at home while playing chord progressions. I wanted to train myself to sing spontaneously and let the Word of God soak into my heart. Memorizing Bible verses is much easier for me if set to music. As my eyes moved across the words on the page my mouth opened and my fingers played. I sang the scriptures and listened to the music, crying out to God in prayer and training myself simulateously.
After packing up my belongings and moving to Bible college, I celebrated my eighteenth birthday by signing up to lead worship for our weekly worship chapel. A young worship leading rookie venturing into the adult world was a bit of a wake-up call to say the least. Teachers and classmates in high school were grateful and kind, but college-aged classmates and leaders pushed me and pointed out my weak points. I cried. I wanted to quit. I kept going. I learned.
My ministry journey continued from Bible college in Minnesota all the way to Cambodia, India, Thailand, Vietnam, and back. I fell in love with my husband my senior year of college and immediately began serving on the worship team at the church where he volunteered as the youth pastor. After a few months of marriage, we accepted a calling to pastor a youth group in Wisconsin at the church where my husband grew up. By the grace of God I was able to see many youth group members trained up to lead worship and play on the worship team so that I could step back as the leader permanently. I took the same approach when we moved overseas to Azerbaijan and served at an International Church filled with many eager teenagers wanting to grow in their worship leading abilities.
After moving back to America when Sitora was a toddler, we accepted the position of lead pastoring an amazing church family in northwestern Wisconsin. I was the main worship leader for nearly five and a half years and had the privilege of watching teenagers and adults alike step into their music and worship leading gifts.
Now here we are, nearly thirteen years of marriage and almost a lifetime of ministry experience between my husband and I, pastoring in my homeland, Utah. The opportunity arose for me to take over as worship coordinator of our church and I have not taken it lightly. If anyone has children, you will understand the heavy weight of extra volunteer work on top of regular life responsibilities. I am a full-time homeschooling mom and, as I like to joke, stay-at-home granddaughter as I am often spending my time tending to my grandmother's needs. I understand the time and effort it takes for our church members to volunteer outside of the home, as I myself am in that situation. This inspires me to push towards training up as many people as possible to serve on our church worship team so that we all bear the weight together. I love giving people a chance, giving them the skills and tools they need to grow and succeed, and I value variety and change.
After leading worship for nearly twenty years, I have often desired to write up something simple to share with others who may be aspiring to lead worship and are looking for guidance. I, by no means, think I am the best or know everything. But I have grown and learned through many changes and mistakes over the years, and I long to pass along that wisdom to anyone who may be seeking it.
- Take the time to pray, sing, and play your instrument throughout the week
By no means am I trying to sound cliche our use "Christian-ese". I mean this with every fiber of my being. As worship leaders we can not fabricate a relationship with Jesus on Sunday morning. If there is a lack of relationship and time spent with him Monday through Saturday, it will show on Sunday morning. I'm not saying you have to spend three hours a day praying, fasting, and singing your guts out. I'm saying take time throughout the week consistently to focus on these elements, however that may work for your schedule. Switch it up. Listen to worship music without singing and study the music and how the singer is leading, watch videos on youtube of worship leaders, spend time playing your instrument (whether practicing or spontaneously singing and praying at the same time), listen to podcasts about worship leading and prayer, read your Bible or listen to an audio version, write scripture, say it out loud. sing it. And of course, practice practice practice. - Try and have a quiet evening the night before you lead worship and go to bed on time
I'm not trying to be a party pooper or sound like your mom, but guys, seriously. How many people go to bed on time Sunday evening because they have to wake up for work early Monday morning? How many times has someone told you, "I really shouldn't go out tonight because I have work early tomorrow,"? There is a reason we do this. We want to be our best selves and put forth our best effort at work and start our week out strong. I know we can't always go to bed on time or skip every party on Saturday evenings, but every effort is worth it. Once in a while we will be invited to a party or get-together on Saturday evenings, but we only go unless it's important. We tell people honestly that we try to spend that time centering ourselves, studying, praying, and preparing for Sunday morning. As parents with young children, we get exhausted very easily (oh, to have my twenty-year-old energy back...) We have accepted our aging bodies (and minds) and don't expect ourselves to operate on superhuman strength on Sunday mornings. I often take time on Saturday evenings to practice my worship list again, to pray over the set and ask the Lord what verses or words of encouragement He may have me share during leading worship. If I don't feel anything, I don't push it. When Sunday morning comes, I wake up early to have time to drink coffee, read, watch the sunrise, breath deeply, and prepare my heart for leading worship. I continue asking the Lord if He has any words or scripture I should share during the worship set. If I do feel led, I continue studying that scripture and praying about what He wants me to say. Again, if I feel nothing, I don't push. I don't want my flesh to get in the way and set my own agenda for the worship service. - Set aside time on Sunday morning before worship starts to pray and gather your thoughts
As an extroverted pastor's wife, I live for the thrill of hugging, chatting, and laughing with church members on Sundays. I can't wait to hear about their week and everything going on in their lives. I love to pray with them, speak encouragement to them, or cry with them in their grief. But one thing I have found that I simply cannot handle is doing this right before I lead worship. I am a very sensitive soul and will take on the emotional weight of the stories and prayer requests laid before me, causing my heart and brain to be distracted while leading worship. Unfortunately, right before I lead worship, people often take the opportunity to share their criticisms about my decisions or leadership and then I am left with an empty, broken heart walking up those steps onto the stage. I cannot control what people will say to me before service, but I can control where I am located and what I am doing during that time. I look forward to spending time with church members after service when I am finished leading worship and can listen and open up my heart to any needs or concerns. But the solution to this problem has worked out to involve solitude and silence before worship. I make sure worship practice ends thirty minutes before service starts so that I can hide away to a back room to eat, drink water, use the restroom, and pray pray pray. I continue seeking God about any scriptures or words of encouragement and prophecy He may have for me to share during the service. I ask Him to lead me, to help the congregation enter into worship no matter how hard or distracting their week has been. I beg Him to guide me and use our team for His glory. When I step onto that stage, I have spent the last twenty minutes seeking the heart of God without distraction. If I miss this time of preparation I notice the difference in my worship leading. As I am leading I continue listening to the voice of the Lord and am open to Him using me to share anything that is on His heart for the congregation. This has taken years of time, effort, and emotional and spiritual energy spent seeking God behind closed doors. - Be open to suggestions and criticism
I know this doesn't sound fun, but any person longing to grow in any area of life will accept this humble approach. I used to feel immediately defensive and hurt when someone would question my worship leading abilities, and I often caved to their demands without standing up for myself or seeking God further. Pushing away all criticism or surrendering to every complaint are both wrong sides of the coin. I am slowly learning how to linger in the happy middle, not leaning towards either side. If someone offers a suggestion or complaint, I always try to acknowledge that I understand and hear what is being said, and affirm that I will think and pray about it. Sometimes I have to stand up for myself and confidently yet humbly remind the person that I am constantly seeking the heart of God and not making decisions haphazardly or rashly. I will sometimes follow up with articles or viewpoints that may help this person see why I do what I do. But I try to always treat every complaint and suggestion with thankfulness and respect (unless I am being treated unfairly, which then warrants a more confident and firm response on my part.) I have learned many things from criticism and suggestions. Sometimes I take the advice and sometimes I don't. But I am constantly trying to see life through the viewpoint of others and figure out how I can work things out without compromising our relationship. - Remember it's not all about you
One thing that I am passionate about is training up many people to lead worship and participate on the worship team. I am not a fan of one worship team always leading. When a worship team member is sick or gone, it can be difficult to find a replacement if no one else has been trained. I often think of my leaders who gave me a chance when I was fourteen years old. Would I be here today, leading worship, if they hadn't given me a chance? We all start somewhere. Obviously, I'm not going to throw an inexperienced, untrained, unqualified musician on the stage. But that's when it requires time, sacrifice, and patience on your part as the leader. How many movies have you seen where a mentor or teacher has sacrificed their time and effort to train up their apprentice? How can we pass on the gift and passion for leading worship if we are keeping it all to ourselves? Jesus trained up his disciples who then went off to change the world. Jesus didn't go into all the world by Himself because He was the best and would get it done right the first time. He decided to multiply Himself and let his disciples grow and learn from their mistakes. He believed in them and He empowered them. This may mean extra practices, mentoring sessions, and phone conversations on your part as the worship leader. But this is what the job is all about. It's not about you always leading and doing everything yourself. And if you disagree with me, we can just agree to disagree. - Chose worship songs that represent the whole body of Christ
I have had the privilege and honor of serving alongside and learning from Christians all across the globe. I have lead worship for international churches in Cambodia and Azerbaijan. Do you know how many nationalities, denominations, and theologies have been represented in the congregations where I have led worship? I couldn't even begin to count. For this very reason, I have learned the art of research, humility, and openness to new ideas. I grew up in a very charismatic church singing modern and new songs. Would you believe me if I told you I only knew a few hymns by the time I graduated high school? I didn't learn "How Great Thou Art" until after high school, and now it is my favorite hymn! I went to a non-denominational Bible college in Minneapolis where many worship songs and styles were presented. I was introduced to many hymns after turning eighteen and began to appreciate them for the first time! I also had many friends in college who grew up singing only hymns in their churches and were introduced to modern and new songs for the first time. We both came with past experiences and preferences for music, but we opened up our hearts to new ways of worshiping together. I have used this open-hearted philosophy as I have grown in my worship leading. I am constantly studying, researching, interviewing other worship leaders, and learning about songs new and old. I have taught myself hymns for the benefit of those who appreciate worshiping to them, and I have taught myself new songs for benefit of those who prefer worshiping to them. My only requirement is that a worship song has to glorify God and speak about His goodness. Many Christian songs are encouraging and life-giving, but I haven't felt that they are all on the right track for singing during worship time. If another worship leader chooses to use them, I am not offended or angry in the slightest. We will all see worship leading from a different perspective and worldview, and that is ok.
I am only here to share my heart and what I am feeling is the direction God is taking me in my worship leading. If you were encouraged or inspired in any way by this post I am eternally grateful. I am continually learning and growing in this area of my life and I don't think I will ever feel like I have "arrived." My prayer is only that God would be glorified, that His people would be encouraged and drawn to worship Him, and that we as worship leaders would provide an atmosphere where God can speak and people can pour out their hearts to Him.
You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
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