Monday, March 9, 2015

My life as a sitcom

My life is seriously hilarious. Being a stay-at-home mom feels like a never ending sitcom about our crazy awesome family life. I am constantly giggling at my children, bending over laughing so hard I don't make a sound, and catching my hubby's glance as we smirk together.

Let me share a few of our quirky moments with you all.


* Peter yelling from upstairs without pants on when he was supposed to be taking a nap - "MoooOOOOooooOOOM! Come up here! I pooped!" I know this game all too well. It's like Where's Waldo except I'm not looking for a man wearing white and red stripes. I'm looking for something brown and stinky. Where in the world did Peter poop? Probably smashed in the carpet in the corner and trailed all the way to the bathroom in a last ditch attempt to make it to the potty. Oy vey.

* Sitora - "Mom, I don't want to grow up! It means I will have to move away and can't spend every day with you!"

* Sitora - "Mom, don't worry, when I grow up I'll introduce you to my husband. We will visit you sometimes."

* Peter while I put gel in his hair for church one Sunday morning - "Mom, my hair is prettyful!"

* Me - "Peter, don't do that or you will have to take a time-out."
   Peter - "Don't say that to me, that's not 'berry' nice."

* Sitora - "Peter, listen to this story. One time the car door wasn't shut very well and I had to shut it myself! Isn't that a crazy story?"
   Peter listening intently and nodding, "Uh huh! And were there monsters???"

* Peter opening his Bible to Jonah and the Whale- "I wanna read Jonah and da whale! Is this Jesus?"

* Sitora made a book and titled it Sitora's Adventures From When She was 4. After starting it and thinking about it all day she said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna change the title to From When She was 4 and 5 because I just can't think of many adventures from when I was 4."

* Me - "Sitora, when you grow up and get a job you will have to manage your money. You will save, spend, and give some away to the poor."
  Sitora- "Of course I will save a little, spend a little, and give a lot to the poor. What did you think? That I would spend it all on myself and only give a little to the poor!? I'm a Christian for goodness sake!"

* Peter and Sitora listen to kids Bible songs in the car and one of them is Deep and Wide. While shopping at a very quiet and echo-y Aldi (small grocery store) Peter belted out loudly his new version of the song, "POOP and wide! POOP and wide!"

* Me- "Peter, are you my buddy?"
   Peter- "No, I'm daddy's buddy."

* When I read Petter Rabbit to Peter at bedtime, I use an English accent for fun (because it's sooooo entertaining to say "Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail" that way- go ahead and try it, you know you want to...) After reading it and opening a different book Peter says, "Mamma, be a RABBIT!" because he thinks rabbits talk in an English accent apparently.

* Me- "Bye, I'm going running!"
  Sitora- "I want to go in the jogging stroller!"
  Peter- "No, I want to go in the jogging stroller!"
  Me- "Ok, you can take turns. I'll take Peter first them come back for Sitora."
  After I took Sitora and she ran a bit with me she exclaimed as we walked in the house, "Man, now I want to eat some brussel sprouts! I sure love being fit and healthy."

*The kids put too much toilet paper in the toilet downstairs and it got all plugged and overflowed everywhere. SuperDan spent hours solving the problem, taking it apart, and getting a new part and putting it all back together. All the while I was finally, in March, meeting Sitora's demands of making gingerbread frosted Christmas cookies (YES I NEVER MADE THEM LAST CHRISTMAS... I ADMIT MY FAILURE) and it took like almost 5 hours from start to finish. Every time SuperDan walked past our flour covered, utensil cluttered, messy, sticky kitchen he laughed hysterically (Mwaahahahaha!) and pointed at me as he walked by.

Me- "Ya, you buy all the ingredients for Christmas cookies at Christmas and here I am the one making them for hours upon hours. Nice. Real nice.

SuperDan- "Well I spent the entire day smelling poop and digging through disgusting amounts of who-knows-what to fix this toilet. Would you rather have switched places?"

Me- "Touché."

Parent convos I tell ya.

* Me- "All I do is clean this house, cook meals, do laundry, and clean and clean and that's all I ever do...."
* SuperDan- "It's because of the children. They mess everything up."
We laugh hysterically together and then keep cleaning.


Well, that's it for today's episode of My Crazy Awesome Stay-at-home-mom Life. Stay tuned for the next show ;)

(No, Sitora didn't get glasses. She's just wearing a pair with the glass taken out because she thinks it looks amazing.)

(So, about Peter's husky dog hat. One time Danny took Peter sledding on a tubing hill. One of the workers told him afterwards that he thought Danny was carrying a small dog with him sledding. The hat. It's all about that hat, people.)

(Because every child wants to pretend they are food going through the digestive tract all Magic School Bus like.)

(Well hello there Olaf. That's not creepy or anything...)

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