Our first night back in the States Sitora woke up screaming her head off. She had been asleep for a few hours when suddenly she bolted awake. I turned on the lights to console her after many failed attempts. She rubbed her eyes, looked around the room in confusion, then asked, "Mommy, where did we go?"
Poor thing. How can she keep our lives straight?
Below is a picture of some of our packed bags just days before we left Baku. All of our possessions fit into 16 bags. I was astonished at how few things we had when I was packing. I thought it would take me much longer to pack then it really did. I had a mini panic attack when looking around the room and said to myself, "This is all we own? We gave away all our stuff! I can't believe this is all we have now!!!!" After a few minutes I settled myself down and reassured myself that we would easily be able to replace many of the things we sold or gave away. After all, it's just stuff.
Our lives have changed, and it's time for me to come to grips with it. I'm still in shock that we are here... not just to visit... but to live. Some moments I feel grief and sadness, other moments I experience excitement and relief. I go up and down with my emotions. I'm so thankful I serve a wonderful Father who has plans so good for me that I cannot even comprehend it. I know He is in control.
I read a really good devotional today in my book "Loving Father" by Mike Bickle. Let me give you a taste of what hit me...
"When we enter into Father's joy and gladness, the door to much of Satan's activity slams shut in our lives. The joy of serving Father keeps us from compromise. A glad heart is a strong heart."
Father, I love you. I am full of joy whenever I think about you. I happily and whole-heartedly serve you with my life. May this glad heart keep me strong and keep me from compromise in any way. May my heart be pure before your eyes.