Saturday, August 14, 2010
Life lessons from scrap-booking...
Today I went to a scrap-booking party.
Yes. I know. I am old.
Because, of course only old people do that "kind of stuff", right?
:) Well, after having a baby, one's mindset is completely changed and the world is seen through completely different eyes.
The idea of scrap-booking my baby girl's life seemed quite daunting at first about this time last year, but once I dove in, I loved it! I had absolutely no stickers, special paper, or any training whatsoever. So I used all the baby cards I'd received at my baby shower, cut them up, used the words and pics, and glued them on the pages to help decorate. Simple... a bit corny... but actually quite sentimental. Every time I look at the pages I am reminded that someone who loved me gave me a card which was used in the book.
The reason I bring this up is because now that I sort of actually know what I'm doing in the scrap-booking field... I feel a bit sheepish looking at my first amateur pages. I feel like I should just re-do them all and start all over to make them look as nice as my more recent pages. But... after thinking it through... I decided not to based on the sentimental reasons listed above.
And you know, it's a bit like life really. We have a lot of regrets about the past, a lot of "what if's", and we wish we could go back in time and "re-do".... but... its part of our story. It makes us who we are. It's a reminder of how much we need Father in our lives to make the story complete. Like my scrapbook had potential at first, but needed something to make it the amazing book it could be.... we too are uniquely gifted as individuals... but if we don't have Father in our lives leading and directing us, we aren't going to be as effective and definitely not complete.
Which leads me to my next point. Oftentimes I feel like I'm trying to be someone I'm not... I wear a lot of "hats" in life and many of them aren't necessarily my passion. True, many things in life we don't want to do, but have to... but I think there are many things in life we weren't necessarily called to do or gifted in... and we just said "yes" because there was a need and we felt like we needed to be busy. Am I making any sense here?
I want to live my life to the fullest, and use my giftings and passions to glorify Father. I don't want to spend my days being busy doing endless work that I usually end up dreading and then feeling guilty for dreading. I want to be passionate about my life.
I'm thinking this year is going to look a bit different than last year. Last year, for me, was one of those, "yes I'll do it because there's a need and I don't see anyone else up to bat...." type of years. But not this year. This year, I'm going to focus on a few areas to dive into, and do it well. I don't want to stretch myself thin running around in a million different directions. I want to be focused, passionate, and inspired.
So today I scrap-booked my daughter's life (while my a.ma.zing husband watched her back at home), then I came home and fed her dinner, read her books, kissed her face a bazillion times, prayed over her and with her, sang songs together, and put her to sleep. This is a passionate, focused, inspired life in my book. I love being a stay at home mom. Why should I feel pressured to have someone else watch my child while I go out and "do something" with my life? I want to stay home and "do something" with my life there. Yes I have talents and giftings the world could use, and yes I plan on helping others, and yes I want to contribute to society. Yes yes yes. But I really feel called that my first job is to raise my daughter, love her, pour into her, and be the mommy Father created me to be.
So, I need a little time and grace as I carefully think this next year through. But in the meantime, please excuse me while I happily pour milk into my toddler's cup, read the 100th story, and wipe tears away in the meantime.