Her first journal

We're back from Alaska. Wow. That's all I can say.

I need a few days/weeks to process our trip and think about all I want to say. I have edited most of the pictures and can't wait to share the stories and adventures we experienced. But for now, I'm recovering and chasing after little kids.

Life just keeps on going, full speed ahead, vacation or no vacation! I have a billion loads of laundry to fold, a house to vacuum, ants to seek and destroy, and photoshoots to edit. 

We had well child check ups for both kiddos today. The nurse slumped back in her chair saying, "I'm getting tired just watching you take care of your kids!" We both chuckled. Then I stopped laughing and replied, "Well, this is my life! I guess you don't realize how crazy it is until someone else points it out." I went on to share how much I miss my parents and how I wish I could live close to my mom. She looked into my eyes and as I stared back in hers I saw tears welling up. She opened up to me about how both her parents were killed by a drunk driver when she was 7 years old. She had 6 siblings. All 7 of them were separated and given to different homes and relatives to live with. My heart stopped and all I could muster was, "Oh, I'm so... so sorry. That must have been so difficult." She burst into a genuine smile and remarked, "Oh it all worked out. Don't be sorry! All my siblings and I are close now. I just want others to respect and love their parents if they have them in their lives." I was floored. Seriously floored. It's all in perspective, isn't it? We should be thankful for what we have in our lives and see the glass half full, not matter what.

Even though I'm completely exhausted at the end of every day, I'm thankful to the Lord that my children are healthy, active, and full of joy and energy. Some days I wonder how I'm going to make it through. It's one thing after another, all. day long. "MOM! Mommeeeee.... mom I NEED you. Mom, did you hear me? MOOOOM!" *smack* *bam* *crash* *children screaming*

I am grateful that I have the opportunity to be a mom. To raise my children alongside the most amazing husband and father I've ever seen. To live my life with fullness of joy and peace in Christ Jesus our Lord. The days are long, but the years are short. My kids will be grown and gone someday and I will look back fondly on these precious years. I may not have many date nights with my husband, I may not have my mom down the street to stop by when I need her, I may not get much sleep or have perfect hair every day, but I do have the joy of looking into two (hopefully many many more over the years) beautiful faces every morning.

About a month ago I decided it was time for Sitora to get a prayer journal. I started journaling when I was 5 years old, so I thought it would be neat for her to start at 4 1/2 years old. Even though she can't spell on her own quite yet, I explained that after she "read" her bible she could write or draw her feelings to Jesus in her special journal. Her first entry was her very own dot-to-dot circle. She made a circle with the numbers and filled them in - it was adorable and oh-so hilarious :) But yesterday's entry tugged at my heart strings a bit more than that one.

I stopped drinking my coffee and put my devotional book down to walk over to Sitora and see what she "drew for Jesus" in her journal. It was a girl with a sad face.

"Why did you draw a sad face?"
"It's a picture of me when I stuck my tongue out at you then I was in trouble."

When I told her to write her feelings, I guess I was expecting something different. I felt bad at first, but then I realized it was healthy for her to do this. I was happy that she felt free to express something like that. Then just as I was thinking these very thoughts, Peter walked over to the end table and knocked over my coffee and spilled it all over the carpet.

"Oh no!" I shouted and rushed over to check on him and clean it up. It was lukewarm to begin with, so at least no one was hurt. Serves me write for stepping away from the beloved beverage :)

"Mom, how do you draw a mad face?"
"Um, it's like a sad face only with angry eyebrows, kinda like v's."
*pause*
"Why are you drawing a made face?"
"It's you when Peter spilled your coffee."

Oh dear :) I guess this prayer journal is going to reflect all the negatives in MY life! Haha! But seriously, I do hope it helps Sitora to calm her mind down and focus on her heart and what God is trying to teach her. As she starts homeschool kindergarten this fall I pray she grasps the reading and spelling concepts quickly. I long for her to begin to express herself and seek out the Lord in these ways.

Her journal... may it be the first of many.